The Amazing Adventures of RobDob The Leukemia Slaying Superhero and His Trusty Sidekick Ashpants

One year.

2010-12-12T19:11:00.000-08:00

Robert Kenneth Ashworth: August 28th 1984-December 13th 2009

It's been a whole year since Robert went to heaven. I miss him more than ever, and I continually remember how blessed I am that he was and is part of my life. I'm not sure if anyone even reads this blog any more, since it has been so long I have posted anything, but it seemed fitting to post today. I know we all love Robert dearly in so many ways, and I know we all miss him. I wrote in my journal about the night Robert died a few days after he passed. I feel ready to share it with you all now. It was a beautiful night full of pure love, tears, sadness, and hope. It is all from my perspective and my experiences that night. It's near and dear to my heart, so I hope you all enjoy reading it and can feel Robert's love today, even if it's in a small way.
*Written in my journal on December 16th, 2009*

"It was a beautiful, sad, intense weekend. Robert passed away on Sunday. It's weird how writing that sentence makes it more real, and hurts my heart even more.

Robert went into the hospital again a couple of weeks ago, because he started feeling sick. Dr. Gollard wanted to get on top of it so he admitted him and started running tests. Nothing came back positive. They just could'nt figure out why he was sick. He also had a bump on his chest that they biopsied. We got the results from that back a few days after he got moved to the ICU. It was leukemia again. My heart sank. Not only was my husband incredibly sick, but his cancer was back. I felt incredibly discouraged. My main priority was getting Robert out of the ICU, his lungs were having problems, he just couldn't oxygenate on his own, so he was on a respirator, sedated. I didn't get to talk to him, to laugh with him, to read scriptures with him. I felt overwhelmed. All the test results just kept coming back negative.

On saturday Ken called Linda and she called me saying we needed to go to the hospital immediately. I felt like someone punched me in the stomach. I called Tina Murray, a woman who Paula had given me contact with, since she was doing a conference that weekend. She helped me clear Robert and myself and then I drove to the hospital. When I got there it was intense. It seemed like everyone knew something I didn't. I felt peace, I felt faith, I felt calm. I went to see Robert and the nurse. His oxygen had gotten low and his heart rate had gotten really high. He was stable again by the time I got there. I just talked to him, told him to hold on, to keep fighting, to have faith. I think I was talking to myself as much as him. Brandon came and gave him a blessing with Kevin Jenkins. After that my Dad showed up and I had him and Brandon give me a blessing. They blessed me with strength, the strength to make the decisions I would be asked to make, and to know those decisions were the right ones. I still felt incredible peace.

Dr. Gollard came and took Linda, Ken, and myself into a room and told us that Robert was getting worse, that he was on medications to cover everything, and that he wasn't getting better. He said that he thought Robert's leukemia had come back in his lungs as well as the bump on his chest. I didn't know what to say, what to think, what to believe. I asked what was next, what he suggested. He told me that he wouldn't do anything for Robert, that pretty much it was his time, and not to have the nurses do anything to save him if something drastic happened. Devestation. I felt peaceful and totally sad, all at the same time. My love, my Robert, gone? After how hard he had fought, after all the things he had been through. Not enough time is what was running through my head. Since I was the decision maker they left that up to me. I was alone in the room. I prayed. I called Tina again and told her what had happened. She encouraged me, told me Robert was so proud of me, and that he really trusted me to make these decisions. I knew she was right.

I went out of the room and Janelle told me that Tonya wanted to talk to me, so I told both of them what Dr. Gollard had said and we talked about it. Tonya just told me that in the case that it was anything else that I should keep letting Robert fight. At that moment I totally agreed. If it was anything but leukemia in his lungs, I had to give him the chance to fight. We went and looked at his chart together, looked at his X-rays. She helped me understand more of the medical side of it, which I was so grateful for. I really feel like it ultimately help me make the most important and hard decision of my life. I told the nurse that I still wanted them to keep helping Robert in any way they could. I felt good about that. By that time it had gotten late. Everyone was there and we all supported each other. It was a really great day, seeing everyone who loves Robert most come together to show support and love.

His night was uneventful, I went home to sleep while Linda stayed at the hospital with Robert. He was doing fine, and stable when I arrived on sunday. A little while after I had gotten there his oxygen levels started declining, but still in a safe range. My mom and Ken were there most of the day with me. They left around 6:00 when Karalee came to give me dinner. I ate and hung out a little and then Karalee and I went back to hang out in Robert's room. His oxygen was below 85 when we came in the room. My heart sank. No... was all I could think. I texted Paula and asked her to call me and went and talked to the nurse. She said they were going to prone him, which would help him hopefully oxygenate a little better. I felt scared. Karalee and I had to leave the room at 7:00 for them to switch nurses. I didn't know what to do. I called Paula and she started working on Robert, his energies were so low. I just knew. I was so scared. I cried while she kept clearing. Him and me. In my heart I knew. I told her I didn't want to be the only reason he was staying if it was his time to go. I knew Heavenly Father was calling him. She told me just saying that out loud was enough. I got off the phone, called Robert's family, while Karalee called ours and then I went to be with Robert. I held him, his face. I kissed him everywhere. I talked to him. I told him how much I loved him, how much I would miss him. I told him how grateful I was for him. That he was beyond anything I could have imagined and so much more. I told him we would be together for eternity. And we will be. I told him I would be okay, and that I knew he would always be with me, and me with him. I talked to the nurse, Sarah, she was an angel sent to us that night. She explained to me what my options were, what decision I would have to make.

All of our family showed up. My dad and Todd gave Robert a blessing, releasing him from this life, back to his Heavenly Father. It was beautiful. Everyone had tears. Brandon showed up a little bit behind everyone else and pulled me aside, he told me he had a special blessing for Robert that was whispered to him by the Spirit. It was one of the most sacred and beautiful things I have ever heard.

I talked to the nurse again, knowing it was time, that it was coming no matter what. She told me that I could leave him hooked up to everything, or take him off and let him pass peacefully. After talking to my mom I decided to take him off everything. It just felt right. Everyone said what they needed to and then we left so they could take everything out. I asked everyone to sing when we went back in the room to be with him while he went. We went back in and I climbed on the bed with him and held him, and kissed him. Everyone sang Be Still My Soul, and then God Be With You Til' We Meet Again. He passed during the second verse of God be with you til' we meet again. It was the most spiritual experience I have ever had. My heart was breaking, but I felt such joy for my eternal companion. Such love and admiration. He was so strong. He endured all to be with Heavenly Father and Christ again. And he is. It was hard, but I was so happy that his pain and suffering was over. I love Robert Kenneth Ashworth with every fiber on my being, my soul, my spirit. He taught me what love truly is. He is love. The epitome of love. I couldn't have had a better husband in this life, or companion for the eternities."
I am grateful to all those who love me and support me through everything. I am grateful for the strength and love you provide, it means the world to me, more than I can say. Thank you for loving Robert and being part of our journey. I love you all.

All is Well.

2010-01-26T00:14:00.001-08:00

I remember the night Robert passed away, the peace I felt. I wouldn't even say it was necessarily bittersweet, because it was mostly sweet. I've thought a lot about the events, played them in my mind, over and over. When I think about it now, I see angels. I know they were everywhere, all around me, Robert, our families, in the halls. I've never felt peace like that, like tons of beautiful whispers of love right into my spirit, comforting me, letting me know everything was going to be okay. I felt their joy, for Robert, a valiant son of God was coming back to them, clean, and as pure as a person can be in this life. He served his mission here, with help from many of the angels that attended us, I believe. I remember making the decisions about letting him go, to take him off his life support. It's those moments that I had clarity like I have never felt before in my life, I had never felt that kind of peace that comes with it. All worry and fear clears out completely, and I knew what was needed, what was right in Heavenly Father's eyes. I imagine that night now with angels, clothed in brilliant white, joy emanating from them. I imagine they were laying comforting, loving hands on all of us, and especially Robert, to give him strength, to let him know we would all be okay. I remember how we sang to Robert as he passed away, and I now hear it with the voices of angels harmonizing with everyone's voices, welcoming Robert home. We were all saying goodbye, but all those angels were rejoicing in his return, they were welcoming him back. It brings me comfort, that I can see that night this way. I see Robert in those brilliant white robes, pure joy on his face, looking more healthy than he ever has, healed perfectly, and knowing that he felt relief, that it had been enough, that he had served in every way he had been asked. "All is well"... I heard it whispered much that night through the spirit, and I hear it often now. Even though I am hurting, I know that it will all be okay, Robert and I will be reunited for eternity, of this, I am sure.

All is well.

The Biggest Laugh

2010-01-15T00:11:00.000-08:00

Taken on Ashley and Robert's honeymoon.

Yesterday marked one month since Robert's passing. I've really missed him this week. I needed to post a funny story, maybe two. This story gave me the biggest laugh during the past month, and has even provided a couple chuckles since then, well pretty much every time I think about it.

Robert was in the hospital in Salt Lake, he had just completed his second transplant and he had developed his nasty case of mucositis and was sleeping a lot and recovering. He woke up from a nap in the afternoon and looked over at Ashley, who was reading on her bed.

"I'm hungry Ashley."

"Okay Robert, what do you want to eat?"

"What do we have?"

Now remember that Robert didn't like eating much at all at this point, so Ashley was a little surprised. They had a cupboard in the room that they kept food in, so Ashley opened it up. She quizzed Robert about a few of the things that were in there that she thought might be easy for him to eat. He saw the box of ding dongs and said, "I want those." Again surprising, since he didn't usually like chocolate at the time.

"Okay Robert." Ashley opened one for him and handed it over. Robert took one bite and started slowly chewing. Then he set it down on the table. About a minute later her fell back to sleep.

A five minute cat nap was all he needed. When he woke up he immediately looked at Ashley wide-eyed. He spit a brown ball out on his hand and said, "what is in my mouth?". . . "Did I eat this?!?"

Ashley laughed and reassured him that he did indeed eat that bite of ding dong. She showed him the wrapper and the rest on his table.

Cracks me up every time I picture his "what the crap is in my mouth?" face. Robert loved to tell his funny hospital stories. He loved making people laugh.

The other story that has made me laugh is about my daughter Josie. If you've been reading this blog for long you may remember that she was born during the Luau Fundraiser that we held for Robert last May. Because we couldn't take our young children around Robert in Salt Lake, he didn't meet her until he was home in October.

Josie on October 6, 2009

After the second or third time that he saw Josie, Robert told Ashley, "Josie is so asymmetrical."

"You mean symmetrical?" Ashley asked.

Robert replied, "no I mean asymmetrical. You know, like if you cut an A in half it is exactly the same on both sides."

Ashley saw Robert's logic, cracked up and told him that he meant symmetrical.

Both those stories gave me a good laugh. I've been told I'm easily amused, but hopefully they will put a smile on your face too. I wanted to make sure those stories got written down, too. Please keep your stories and pictures coming too! memoriesofrobdob@gmail.com

It really makes things easier when I am missing Robert to think of all the good memories I have of him, funny ones included. I think he is happy to see us laughing!

A Continuing Legacy

2010-01-10T16:43:00.000-08:00

I've thought about this blog this week. I've thought a lot about Robert. There have been emails, comments on here, comments on Robert's facebook page; people sharing thoughts and stories about what Robert and his amazing life meant to them. They are his legacy.

So many have shared that Robert was a force for good in their life. I know he was a force for greatness in mine. His legacy here isn't over, either. His influence still reaches out to us from the other side, from beyond his grave. His amazing example still spurs us all on to reach a little higher each day, to be a little better, a little kinder, to lift up someone else, to try to be like him. And in following Robert's example we will be following the example of our Savior. Because Robert loves his Savior and he tried every day of his life to live as the Savior wanted him to. Robert lived a life centered on Christ, a life directed by his immoveable faith. Today I am so grateful for Robert.

There was a theme, a common thread through the messages and thoughts shared at Robert's funeral: it is the message of our temples and that families really can be together forever, not just till death. Robert and Ashley weren't just married for time, they were sealed for all eternity in the Las Vegas Temple. If you would like to watch a short video about the blessings of the temple go here.

There is something about losing a loved one that makes you bold. I think it is because it causes you to pause and think about what is really important in this life. Robert was a college student when he was diagnosed with leukemia. When he died he didn't own a home, have a large bank account, or have an amazing car or any of the things that can seem so desirable in this life. He did have an amazing marriage with the love of his life, good relationships and love for and from his parents, siblings, in-laws and many others, he had a testimony of Jesus Christ and His gospel, he had many good friends. Those are the things that matter.

Ashley is bold. The experiences of the past two years, culminating in losing the love of her life in this earthly existence, they have changed her. There isn't much she fears anymore. She no longer fears death, and she doesn't worry about what people think about her. She is graceful and kind, yet speaks clearly. She doesn't ever want to offend, yet she desires to see others thrive in their marriages and lives. She nudges and reminds those around her to choose the right. I watch her, and I think she is amazing.

She is walking a path that no one besides her Savior can walk with her. I know that sometimes, as often as he can, Robert walks with her. Ashley will be forever a better woman, because she is Robert's eternal companion. She continues his legacy. Robert's siblings, parents, family and even his friends will continue to carry on his legacy.

So in the spirit of being bold, you should also check out this video, here.

I would like to thank all of you who have taken a moment to leave a comment or send an email. It has been such a blessing to read stories, most that we have never heard before. We are printing all of the stories and putting them in notebooks for Ashley and the Ashworths, so that we can add to them at any time. Please feel free to keep the stories coming, also we would love to receive any pictures that you may have of Robert. The email you can send both to is memoriesofrobdob@gmail.com.

Thank you!

Remembering Robdob Video

2009-12-22T20:13:00.001-08:00

This video played at the viewing on Friday night. The funeral service was inspiring. We hope to share more of the messages and memories that were shared here for those who live out of town and were unable to attend. Get a tissue to watch the video! It is beautiful.

Many thanks and sincere gratitude to all those who have been of service, sent flowers and donated to the Hope Trust Fund and the leukemia foundation. Ashley continues to be sustained by your prayers and love and the Spirit. Thank you!

Obituary

2009-12-17T18:06:00.000-08:00

Robert Kenneth Ashworth, 25, a student, of Las Vegas, passed away December 13, 2009. He was born August 28, 1984, in St. George, UT, and was a 17 year resident of Nevada. Robert graduated from Las Vegas High School in 2003. He attended college in Missouri and CSN. Robert married Ashley Ann Squires July 8, 2006. He is survived by his wife, Ashley Ashworth; parents, Linda and Ken Ashworth; sisters, Amanda, Alicia, and Anjelica; and brothers, Ryan and Richmond. Viewing will only be 6-8 p.m. Friday December 18. Funeral services Saturday, 11 a.m., both at the LDS chapel, 4040 E. Wyoming (at Gateway). Graveside service will follow at Bunkers Memory Gardens, 7251 W. Lone Mountain Rd. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the Hope Trust c/o Robert Ashworth, 1055 Whitney Ranch Drive, Suite 110, Henderson, NV 89014.

A Few Things

2009-12-17T08:33:00.000-08:00

There has been some confusion about the time of the funeral on Saturday, we would just like to clarify that it will be at 11:00 a.m. at the same location as previously posted.

The Ashworth family has requested that in lieu of flowers donations may be made to the Hope Trust Fund. This is a Robert Ashworth Memorial Fund that will benefit his wife, Ashley.

I would like to share the gratitude expressed by many in both the Ashworth and Squires families for the many sweet sentiments and great services that have been performed and offered on our behalf. With the strength and sustaining of the Spirit, it is getting us through.

Thank you to those have shared memories of Robert with us, I know they will be a treasure to Ashley and the Ashworth's in the years to come. Please keep them coming.

I just have to share a picture. This photo was taken on November 24th, 2009:

The most adorable, eternal couple ever!

Funeral Arrangements

2009-12-14T17:40:00.000-08:00

We wanted to post the information that we know about the services .

The viewing will be on Friday the 18th from 6 to 8p.m.

The funeral will be on Saturday the 19th at 11 a.m.

Both will be held at the church building at

4040 E. Wyoming (just west of Lamb).

(The Gateway & Wyoming Building)

Thank you for the love and support.

Sharing Memories

2009-12-14T08:26:00.001-08:00

We have already found comfort, inspiration, and even a chuckle or two sharing our memories of Robert with each other. We would like to invite everyone to share their memories. Please feel free to leave a comment with your memories, or send an email to memoriesofrobdob@gmail.com
Sometime next week we would like to compile all of these stories into a book and give a copy to Ashley and a copy to the Ashworth family.

A Wonderful Life

2009-12-13T23:57:00.000-08:00

Robert Kenneth Ashworth returned home to his loving Father in Heaven at 9:20pm. He was surrounded by his family, Ashley and her family.

Setting the Record Straight

2009-12-13T17:53:00.001-08:00

The news about Robert is a little better than it was yesterday. The word went around that Robert only had 24-48 hours, and we know that this was very stressful news for everyone that heard it. There was a time in the morning that his condition was very critical. His resting heart rate went over 200 bpm and there was concern that he would go into an irregular heart rhythm and require resuscitation. The doctors were able to adjust his ventilator settings and treat his pH levels to bring his heart rate down to a safer rate. It has been determined that he has ARDS (Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome), which is inflammation of the lungs. ARDS is a secondary response to some other stress. The cause has still not been determined since all the cultures have come back negative. Robert's condition is still very critical and he is receiving supportive care for ARDS, which means he is breathing with the assistance of a ventilator. He's hooked up to a plethora of monitors and is being watched very closely. His condition has been fairly stable since yesterday afternoon. The diagnosis of ARDS gives hope that Robert will be able to pull through this, although his condition could change from day to day or even hour to hour at this point.

We are moving forward with faith and so appreciate all who join their faith with ours. We know that Robert is in God's hands and He is in charge of the outcome. We continue to believe in miracles and to ask for one for Robert. Ashley is holding up with her usual optimism and courage and advocating for the best care possible for Robert.

*We will be posting if there is anything new. If there is any specific information that you would like to know or questions that you have please feel free to leave us a comment and we will answer it in the following post. It has been an overwhelming weekend, but we do plan to continue posting at least once a day.

Once again, thank you for your fasting and prayers on Robert and Ashley's behalf. We have all felt their power this weekend, and your love!

Fast Request & Update

2009-12-11T14:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a bit of a rough day. I couldn't bring myself to post. We received the results from the biopsy on the lump on Robert's chest. It is leukemia cells. The good news is that there are no leukemia cells in his blood work or in his bone marrow. It is the same thing that happened before, a few rogue leukemia cells that weren't destroyed by the chemo and radiation have just gotten together and formed the lump. The game plan: get Robert over his pneumonia, then send him up to Salt Lake. There they will do a lymphocite transfusion with more of Amanda's cells. That will force Robert's body to develop graph vs. host disease. When he gets GVHD then Amanda's cells will attack and destroy any remaining white blood cells of Roberts, including any leukemia cells. I believe they may also do a localized radiation treatment on the lump to kill those cells as well.
While they have a good plan to handle this new development it was still hard news to hear, and it took a day to process.

Currently Robert is still on 100% oxygen, his blood oxygen saturation is between 92-95. His pneumonia symptoms are a little worse today than yesterday. They are a little concerned about his brain activity as well, because even when they bring down his sedation levels, his brain activity doesn't increase. Ashley is asking that they change his pain medication from morphine to dilauded (or something else), because she remembered that he had that problem last time he was in the ICU and it helped. We're hoping that will help his brain activity right now. The docs have gotten back some of his test results, but so far everything has come back negative.

Ashley would like to ask anyone who can to participate in a fast for Robert this weekend (Saturday or Sunday). We are announcing in our wards here to fast on Sunday, but please feel free to fast tomorrow if that would be better for you. We are fasting for Robert's healing, but also specifically for his doctors to be guided to know what is causing his pneumonia and how best to help him heal. Please also pray for his speedy recovery, so that he can get up to Salt Lake quickly.

Thank you for all of your continued support and prayers. Ashley feels them, they are keeping her going; and she knows Robert feels them too.

With love and gratitude!

Update

2009-12-09T22:22:00.000-08:00

There still isn't much to report on. We still haven't gotten any new results from cultures or tests. Robert is stable, and has been all day. He is currently on 100% oxygen to keep his saturation above the necessary 92 mark. They would like to be able to bring his oxygen level down soon. He is sedated. His chest x-ray last night looked worse, but the docs & nurses say that is typical of pneumonia and they will expect them to start looking better soon.

Thank you for your continued prayers, love and support.

Here's what's cookin'. . .

2009-12-08T22:09:00.000-08:00

Remember that cook book we mentioned awhile back? Well here it is. . . (drumroll please) Ahem, that was lame. Let's try it again

(((DRUMROLL)))

That was much better! Here it is in real, life print. Life? Does that word describe a cookbook? Printed on pages that were once a living tree. Recipes to gift life to your body and a party to your taste buds. Yep, I think it works. I just love, love, love the title. Isn't the cover fabulously cute? It would have to be with pictures of such cuties, I just love those two.

This book is filled with yummy recipes, quick meals and family traditions. All these recipes are tried and true! Recipes I just love. If you don't have yours yet, you just might want to get one! We are selling them here.

To those who have already purchased a book, they are on their way! And a big THANK YOU for your support in our fundraising efforts. You won't regret it, we can really cook (and I'm humble about that fact!) Food is so good! I love food, and I just thought you needed to know. Well it is getting late and I might qualify as slap-happy at this juncture, so I'm gonna run.

Just don't forget to buy a cookbook!

Thank you for your love, prayers & comments!

Kisses!

*Robert has remained stable today. He is on a ventilator that is breathing for him at this point. They are maintaining his oxygen levels and treating his pneumonia. His blood pressure was a little low today, this is very typical for someone who is as sick as he is. They started him on meds to help with that. We don't have any test/biopsy results back yet. Still playing the waiting game. There just isn't a lot of new information at this point. When we know, you'll know, I promise!

Giving Thanks

2009-12-07T18:00:00.000-08:00

Sunday November 22 at their Gratitude Night!

Check out those chubby cheeks! :)

Robert and Ashley gave me a gift. The gift of gratitude. The Sunday before Thanksgiving our family got together. We were joined by Mike, Lara & family, the only ones missing were the Bakers. Robert and Ashley started off an FHE by sharing stories from their experience battling leukemia. They pointed out in each story how gratitude has blessed their experience. Then they passed out slips of paper, on it was printed someone's name in our family. We went around the room and said why we were grateful for the person on our paper slip. No matter what your family relationships are like: good, bad or indifferent, they could benefit from that exercise. Suddenly you are reminded of all the amazing qualities each family member possesses. It was awesome! Here is a quote that Ashley posted on her facebook page:

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." -Melody Beattie

Robert and Ashley are such an amazing example to me, and many. They keep their spirits up and look for the blessings in every situation, both big and small. To finish up they gave everyone a piece of paper with the words "Things I would like to be more grateful for..." I've been thinking about it ever since. And you know what has happened? I have noticed the little things, the tender mercies and even the things I first think are a frustration--yet they work out for my benefit. I have seen the Lord's hand in my life a little more than I did before.

So Thanksgiving Day has passed, yet today I am giving thanks. Thanks for Robert and Ashley. Thanks for their example. Thanks for Robert's life. Thanks for families and for friends!

Thanks for you! For your thoughts and your prayers!

With Robdob back in the ICU lets fill up his waiting room. Please feel free to leave a comment and let him know that you are thinking of him and are praying for him. And Ashpants too! Thank you!

*Robert's bronchioscopy went well, they were able to easily get fluid from his lungs, as well as a biopsy. We are waiting on results from those cultures. His initial lumbar puncture results are in and they look good, they also sent off for a culture of that, and it hasn't come back yet. No other test results are in as of yet. We may hear more after rounds tonight.

Robert is stable, and he has been calm all afternoon. Ashley is catching up on her sleep a bit from her eventful night. We'll post again soon!

Monday Update

2009-12-07T15:03:00.000-08:00

I don't have much time right now, but I wanted to get a quick post up. Robert was taken to the ICU last night around 3:30am. His blood oxygen levels were really low (45%), so he was admitted, sedated and intubated. I was able to go down to the hospital at 5:00am to be with Ashley while she waited outside the ICU. The Pulmonologist (lung doctor) came out and said that Robert has stage 4 pneumonia. The doctor would need to do a bronchioscopy with a biopsy of his lung tissue. That procedure will tell them what is causing his pneumonia (bacteria, virus, etc.) so they know exactly what they are dealing with and how to treat it. They were doing that at 11:00am today. We are still awaiting word that he is out. (He probably is, but I haven't heard from Ashley yet.)

We are also hoping for the results of a biopsy from the bump on his chest and for his lumbar puncture they performed on Saturday. The results of a couple of cultures should come in today as well. I know that one was to check for cytomegalovirus (cmv virus). Do you remember that one? It is the one that 80% of the population has all the time, but only affects people if their immune systems get too depressed.

Ashley is doing pretty well. She was able to go into the ICU for a little over an hour this morning, before she had to leave for rounds and shift change. It was hard for her to see Robert on the ventilator and hooked up to more tubes. He got a little worked up, but she was able to calm him down. He is sedated, but not completely unconscious.

Thank you for praying for both of them today. I hope to post again very soon!

Love,

Janelle

Update & Prayer Request!

2009-12-03T07:15:00.000-08:00

We took a little break from posting, I'm sure you noticed! ;) It has been so nice for the past month to watch Robert and Ashley settle back into normal life, well as normal as it can be. Robert has been back up to Salt Lake twice for check ups and everything has been looking good. They even took Robert off of his appetite stimulator. He's been gaining weight so well, they want him to slow it down a little. He still takes it occasionally, it helps with his nausea or if he has a couple days when he doesn't feel hungry. He has some cute chubby cheeks these days!

About a week ago Robert started feeling a little crummy. His docs thought he was detoxing all of the chemo and radiation and other drugs from his bone marrow transplant--a little too fast. He developed a small bump on his chest on Tuesday, and he's been feeling a little worse and sleeping a lot. He had a check up here in Vegas with Dr. Gollard yesterday (Wed). Doc was concerned about his overall health, so he sent Robert to check in to the hospital. They ran some additional blood work, and there are no abnormal cells (great sign). I talked to my dad just after he had been at the hospital last night to give Robert a blessing. While he was there Dr. Litman stopped by (the infectious disease doc) and he was checking Robert out. He said from what he could see, and the look of his skin (he has a rash?) that he thought Robert was developing graph vs. host disease (GVHD). Now that would be a good thing! We've been waiting a long time for some GVHD to show up!

GVHD would explain him feeling worse and worse. And one doc even said it could have caused the bump on his chest. If is is GVHD they will start Robert back on anti-rejection meds and that would help him to keep the GVHD under control and he would start feeling better.

We don't want to cause too much concern. Robert is in the hospital because as my dad said, "with all of Robert's health concerns they are going to keep him on a short leash." They also wanted to be able to help Robert feel more comfortable too. They want to know exactly what caused the bump on his chest, so they are running more tests. Today they will do two bone marrow biopsies--one on his chest and one on his back.

So Ashley wanted me to request extra prayers for him today! Pray for them both please!

I started this post on Thursday. Here is the Friday update: the results from both bone marrow biopsies are in and there are no leukemia cells. His blood cultures came back and they look pretty good too. His liver is a little stressed, raised enzyme levels I believe. They did an MRI and a CT scan, they were checking on his liver and kidneys and they looked good. This afternoon they were doing a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) to be sure there isn't any infection in his spinal fluid. The docs thought that Robert might have a secondary infection, besides possible GVHD. So far they haven't seen signs of it. I hope this makes sense. It is a lot of medical info all at once!

Robert is feeling better. They have been giving him fluids and some pain meds, so he is much more comfortable.

Please keep praying for Robert and Ashley! We'll continue updating daily, at least until we know what is going on. Thank you again for your love and support!

Hugs & Kisses

XOXOXOXOXO

WELCOME HOME ROBDOB AND ASHPANTS!

2009-10-22T22:29:00.000-07:00

Taryn loves having Uncle Robert home!

Robert and Ashley returned home just this past Sunday, October 18th. Robert completed all of his testing two weeks ago, and had his final appointment with the docs this past week. No cancer cells were found in his bone marrow. I feel the need to repeat...

NO CANCER CELLS WERE FOUND IN HIS BONE MARROW!!!

Or anywhere else in his body either. Amanda's bone marrow has taken over nicely and things are going well. Robert has been off his TPN (nutrition IV) for almost two weeks. His appetite increases daily. I would know, he ate three pulled pork sandwiches and potato salad when he was at my house the other day! He eats a lot of little meals, he still can't eat as much in one sitting. Robert is gaining weight nicely, and his energy is returning bit by bit. Robert will be going up to Salt Lake monthly for check ups.

As you can see in the photo his hair is growing back quickly this time! Robert can be around children for short periods of time, but still avoids large crowds. He is doing so very well! We are so excited for that, and we are thoroughly enjoying having them home!

Ashley is busy unpacking and settling them back in at home. They have been making the rounds to hang out with family, and a few friends. I wish I had more pictures of the gatherings and welcoming! This is the only one I snapped when they were at my house. Taryn is sure that Uncle Robert came home just to be her BFF. Ashley stopped by the next day without him and Taryn asked, "where's Robert?" She was bummed he hadn't come too!

Thank you again so much for all your prayers and loving support of Robert and Ashley!

Pillow Talk.

2009-09-28T20:52:00.000-07:00

So this is how Robert was sleeping when I came into the room the other day. I thought it was hilarious. It looks like the pillow is eating his head.

After I got some pics of this I asked Robert if he wanted me to move his pillow around, but he insisted that he was "very comfortable". I got a kick out of this, so I thought I'd share.

Robert is doing well, he has had some more chest pain, but it is getting better. Robert is just frustrated that he was finally starting to eat and now his esophagus is hurting when he swallows. But, it is getting better, and we hope it continues to. Other than that things are going well. We've just been hanging out and waiting to be able to go home. We are hoping sooner than later. The weather is supposed to be cooling down a lot this week, and we are excited to possibly see some snow. Although I don't really want to drive in it! Things are going well, and we are so grateful. Thank you for the prayers and love.

All our love.

Little League.

2009-09-25T22:33:00.001-07:00

Last night Robert was having some chest pains that were causing him a lot of pain, so we called the BMT wing and they told us to go to the ER to make sure everything was okay with his lungs and heart. So we went to the ER, and by the time we got there most of his pain has subsided, it only hurt when he was moving around a lot. They ran some tests and during a CT scan they gave him some dilauded, which is pain medication, and it's 6 times as strong as morphine. Needless to say, he was drugged up when they brought him back. It was entertaining to say the least. He was scratching everywhere, and of course made me scratch him as well. After they did their tests they cleared us to go home. They think he just tore his asaphogus when he threw up earlier in the night, or something to that effect, so we were grateful that it wasn't a big deal.

After we arrived home and Robert was in bed and had gotten more scratch time he was ready for bed, so we said a prayer together. Robert decided he wanted to say it, and I though he might actually fall asleep, since he was so out of it from the pain meds they gave him in the ER. So he was saying the prayer and was staying awake and then right at the end he says "Please help me keep feeling better and healing, so that one day I can coach little league baseball." He finished and then I look up and his eyes are closed. I just started laughing and he wakes up and is like "Whattt? I am sorry, I fell asleep. Did I finish praying?" I was in tears from laughing. It was the cutest, most hilarious thing he has done in a while. He didn't remember saying it, but we laughed about it today. I know one day he will get that chance to coach a little league team, and I can't wait to see it.

Robert is doing well. He didn't gain too much more weight this week, but he didn't lose any. So that is great. We are still working on his appetite. He has been feeling a lot better, and the IV nausea medicine is still helping a lot. Things are going great and we are hoping to be heading home by the end of October. We miss Vegas!

All our love.

What is Daisy?...

2009-09-17T17:28:00.000-07:00

We get this question often, so I thought I would answer it today. People either think Daisy is super cute, if they know what an Italian Greyhound is, or else they ask if she ever eats. Thats just how she is. Skinny. Italian Greyhounds are a miniature version of Greyhounds, the racing dogs. So they are fast and agile, just like the big Greyhounds. Daisy is a quick dog. We can never catch her if she is running.
Robert had another Italian Greyhound while he was growing up and I have always thought they were stinkin' cute, so when we got married we often talked about getting one. Daisy is a great and loving dog. Robert is glad I made him wait to get a grey greyhound, because they are harder to find, but we held out and found Daisy and she is perfect for us.
Daisy is always patient when I smother her with kisses.
Daisy has this thing for Robert's ears. Not mine. Mostly Roberts. She is always licking them and sticking her cold wet little nose in there... or she is trying anyway.
I love this picture of Daisy and Robert having some bonding time while she was visiting us.

Robert has finally been able to start eating again this week. Yay! He has been on IV nausea medication that I give him when he needs it and it has been helping so much. He is still on TPN, but we are hoping he will be able to keep eating more and more and get off TPN in the next couple of weeks. Robert is still getting weened off his anti-rejection medication and he will be completely off it next week. We got a call this morning that Robert has been positive for CMV Virus 2 weeks is a row, so they are going to switch one of his antibiotics to one that is stronger to get it in check. Things are looking up and Robert has been feeling better. Thank you for all your prayers and love. We appreciate them so much.

All our love.

Nap Time.

2009-09-08T21:11:00.000-07:00

The Ashworth's came to visit us this past weekend, and they brought Daisy with them. She was so excited to see Robert. We had to remind her to be gentle with him and eventually she would just come hang out one the couch with him and snuggle. They took lots of naps together, and Daisy ended up finding herself in some tight spaces, like these of Daisy squished between Robert's legs, passed out cold. As long as she gets to snuggle she doesn't care where she squeezes in. We have the best dog ever. We miss her all the time.
This just really made me laugh, I am so glad I got pictures of it. It just shows a little bit of the bond Daisy and Robert share. It's very cute.
Robert is doing well. Thank you everyone who has prayed and fasted for him extra this week. We appreciate it so much. Robert has still been having a hard time eating, because of his tongue sores, and his nausea, and he is just all in all miserable some days. It has been wearing on him mentally and emotionally. We are hoping the test results will show what is going on so his doc can get these things under control. He had his last test this morning, the one he wasn't looking forward to... the dreaded colonoscopy. Robert said "I shouldn't be getting a colonoscopy until I'm 50, I should have 25 more years..." Haha. The doctors just wanted to make sure they are covering all the bases of his GI tract. It wasn't too bad, and they took really good care of him and he is doing well now. We go to the Clinic on thursday, so I will let everyone know the results then. Please keep praying for Robert. We are so grateful for all of you, and your support.

All our love.

Special Fast for Robert

2009-09-05T20:32:00.000-07:00

I am sorry for the short notice about this. I was supposed to post this yesterday.

Tomorrow, Sunday, September 6th, we invite any of you who would like to join us to fast for Robert. He had a GI scope on Friday and will have some more testing this coming week. He once again has sores in his mouth--they are lining the sides of his tongue this time. He continues to be plagued with nausea and is really struggling to eat, drink, and talk right now because it hurts or makes him feel so sick.

We would appreciate you joining your faith with ours as we fast and pray for Robert tomorrow. We are praying that the doctors will be able to determine the cause of his sores and GI upset as well as the best things to do for him. We are also praying that he gets feeling better really soon and that he shows signs of Graph vs. Host Disease (GVHD).

Thank you for your continued support, love, and prayers. They mean more than we can express. All our love.

Super-Hero Birthday.

2009-08-31T19:25:00.000-07:00

Robert's birthday was this past friday, our super hero is now 25. (How does it feel to save on car insurance Robert?) So Robdob didn't want cake, or cookies, or pie for his birthday, no... he wanted donuts. He still has had a hard time eating, and things tasting different, and donuts were what sounded the most declicious, so donuts it was! I topped off that donut with some candles, I know it's not an accurate count, but 25 candles on one little donut seemed excessive, you know? But if you want to think he is turning 6 instead of 25, be my guest.
I wonder what his wish was?? I have an idea... but let's not talk about it, we want it to come true after all. I love birthday wishes.
Robert reading his cards in his new sunglasses that I got him for his big B-day! He loves them. He wears them to bed, and in the shower. I told him it crosses the line to wear them while reading. I tell him, "think about your retinas"... So he does. What are sidekicks for, if not for protecting your retinas? Huh? Exactly.
Doesn't he look seriously delicious in them though? Okay, TMI? Sorry... We had a fun day, relaxing and eating donuts, we even went to Best Buy to look at laptops. His parents are getting him a new one for his b-day. I think I was more excited about it than he was. Our current laptop is a dinosaur.
Oh how I love him. Isnt he just so lovable? Anyone who meets him loves him. It's impossible not to, I think. Although, I am quite biased.

Robert is doing well, the doc is weening him off of his anti-rejection meds in hopes to see some GVHD pop up. He should be completely off of it in the next couple of weeks. Robert is still really nauseated, but some days are better. He is still on IV nutrition during the nights, and we are tying to maintain his weight and help him gain... not lose any! He is doing well for the most part. We have been so blessed and we are grateful for the love and support you all offer us. We apologize for not updating as much since we have been out of the hospital, but we hope to start posting more. Please continue praying for our Super hero, for his healing an health. We love you guys! You're the best!

All our love.

A Message in the Sand!

2009-08-26T22:58:00.000-07:00

Last week all us Las Vegas Squires peeps were at the beach. Our super heroes would have joined us under different circumstances and we missed them terribly! See...

Nonni taught Taryn and Tyler how to sign I love you for thier favorite super Aunt and Uncle!

Tyler, Karalee, Nonni & Taryn sharing all of our love with Robert and Ashley!

Well Ashpants, this one was for you! We know how you love a good message in the sand!

Here's to hitting the beach with everyone next summer! We'll help Robert and Ashley work on their goal to go to all their favorite beaches together!

We just want you two to know how much you are loved and missed by many!

Pssst, don't forget Robert's birthday is on Friday. Celebrating the big two-five! 25 years down, a hundred more to go! (You'll get in the Guinness Book for sure then ;0) Shoot him an email, phone call, pay him a visit! Whatever you can swing! Thank you!

*Robert is doing pretty well. About the same as last week. He is still on TPN, and hating it. He is still struggling with nausea and eating enough on his own. Slow and steady will win him the race there.

They are still waiting on signs of GVHD. They cut back on his anti-rejection meds every so often. They will keep doing this until he gets GVHD.

Cupcakes and love.

2009-08-16T20:49:00.000-07:00

Do you read Nie Nie? She has a blog also, she and her husband were in a plane crash a year ago, and she writes about her experience recovering and her challenges as well as her joys. I don't personally know her, but I find inspiration in the things she shares, especially going through the challenges that I have faced with Robert. Today she shared this quote on her blog:

"There is in every true woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire,
which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which
kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity."
-Washington Irving

I love it. I have found it to be true. It's amazing the power that we all hold within and that we can call upon when needed.

As you all know this friday was my birthday! Robert and I had a fun time hanging out, and spending time together. We also enjoyed these beauties:

They were delicious. We got them from Mini's cupcakes. So cute and so yummy.

And these babies, I have been lusting after for a while. Mine and Robert's fam got them for me and I am super duper excited about them! Thank you to everyone for the cards, email, and phone calls giving me all the birthday love. I appreciate it so much!

Robert has been doing better each week. He is still getting IV nutrition at night time, but he is also eating more and hasn't been getting nauseated as much. He gets tired and still rests a lot, but all in all things are slowly improving! And we are so grateful. Thank you for praying for us and loving us! You are the best!

All our love.

Super Heroes Have Birthdays, Too!

2009-08-11T17:19:00.000-07:00

And...their birthdays are THIS month!!! Ashpants' birthday is August 14th. Robdob's birthday is August 28th.

If you'd like to help them celebrate by sending them an email greeting, please send it to ashley_ashworth@hotmail.com.

If you'd like to send them a card or another type of birthday surprise, you may email Ashley at the above email address or send an email to robdobcookbook@sbcglobal.net to ask for their mailing address. For security and privacy reasons, we are choosing not to go public with their current address on the blog.

If any of you live or visit the Salt Lake area while Ashley and Robert are staying there, please pay them a visit! They are able to receive and greatly appreciate visits from friends and family. Robert is pretty much homebound except for his clinic and doctor's visits. Just call and let them know you'd like to stop by--if you need their phone number, you may email one of the above email addresses.

Robert Update: Robert went to the clinic today. His numbers are steady. His patelets are low, but not low enough to require a transfusion. Low platelets are a normal occurrence at this point. For another week, he will receive TPN nutrition while he sleeps to ensure that his nutritional and hydration needs are met.

Robert and Ashley keep themselves busy with a little walk on the days Robert feels well enough. Ashley has been cooking and baking to her heart's content. She told me about a Pesto Artichoke Calzone she made last night (Sounds divine! She said it was delish.). They also sleep (especially Robert) and read quite a bit. They are doing well and are in good spirits. Robert is getting better all the time. His taste buds are slowly returning. We're still waiting for some signs of Graft vs. Host Disease. Thank you for your continued prayers in their behalf.

Some serious R&R

2009-08-03T13:49:00.000-07:00

I am home recovering from our weekend with Ashley and Robert. And by recovering I mean dealing with the reality that sleeping in until 10am never happens at home. Sad, sad day. I am ecstatic to be back with my children, but I am already in deep missing. I miss the delicious food, the relaxing time, and the great company of some of my best friends. We had a wonderful weekend... this is how it went down.

It was all about hanging out with Ashley like we always do.(self taken car shots and all)

The boys they just hung out and relaxed. There were a lot of video games...

and goofiness.

A little of this.

And even a nap. Or two.

Ashley and I planned a menu and a grocery list and then we shopped our hearts out.

We had a blast at the farmer's market, even if it did start before 10am. Of course all of our shopping and planning led to this...

Raclette, so yummy, is a dinner where everyone cooks on the grill in the middle of the table. It makes for a slow and enjoyable dinner together with plenty of time for conversation.

Artichoke dip. Get in my belly!

Some more goofiness, but we were all business. Really.

Chocolate peanut butter cookie.
These were so delicious, honestly I am ready to make them again.

Homemade yellow cupcakes with a raspberry buttercream. These cupcakes reminded Ashley and I of sugar cookies. But light and airy. So scrumptious.

I had so much fun, and ate way too much. But I have one question...

Hey Robert and Ashley, are you free this weekend?

*It was great to see Robert this weekend relaxing at home and recovering. He is tons better than the last time I saw him (which was just a few days after his transplant), and even seemed to continue to perk up and eat more over the three days we were there. He still gets TPN at night to ensure he is getting enough nutrition, and goes to the clinic twice a week for his testing. We are looking forward to the 100 day mark. Please continue to pray for some GVH. We love you all.

Buh-Bye!

2009-07-30T12:15:00.000-07:00

Robert busted out of the hospital on Monday night, and it has been so nice to get to relax in our apartment, sleep in a real bed, and eat some delicious food. Well Linda and I were doing most of the eating. Robdob has still been nauseated, so he hasn't been able to eat tons yet. But, we're working on it!
On his way out of the hospital. We will miss all of our wonderful nurses. They were awesome, but we were glad to go!
Getting some R&R and also some food at the same time! Robert is still getting IV nutrition(that white bag), since he can't consume enough calories on his own right now. But he only gets it at night. I just hook it up and he gets it while he sleeps.

Robert is doing well, just still recovering from his treatment, and trying to get used to the nausea and taking a bunch of pills. He is taking a LOT. But, everything is going well. Thank you as always for the love and support.

All our love.

DNA Sunday, I mean Sunny Monday--Byron

2009-07-27T12:44:00.000-07:00

So we missed Sunday! We were having too much fun at Temple Square in SLC with Aunt Ashpants! And Robdob was hanging out with the Stevenator again. Then we were on the road heading home last night! So we'll just make it a DNA Sunny Monday today!

Byron Bradley Gratteau is next in line! He is Janelle and Steve's oldest. He will turn 6 on November 30th, but enjoys telling everyone he meets that he is six NOW. (Better than the 106 years old that used to be his answer to that question.) He is a funny guy, quite the character! He too loves baseball, and played t-ball for the first time this past spring. He doesn't have quite the same passion as Robdob or the Baker boys, he wants to try all the sport out first. He has asked to play football and soccer next!

Byron loves to climb, always has. I've found him on top of our fridge, the top shelf in the pantry and lots of trees:

Byron loved spending time with Aunt Ashley in SLC. He was sad that Robert was still in the hospital and that he didn't get to see him before we had to come home. He has a message for his Ashpants, "Thank you for letting us come to stay with you in Salt Lake. Tell Robert that I hope he gets to come home soon, and that I hope he feels better!"

Byron has quite the imagination. He loves to come up with costumes to be his favorite super heroes, and sometimes he makes up a new hero. This is the terrifying Thunder Man:

You can also check out the even more terrifying Ele Vader here.

Byron loves to have his picture taken as he is demonstrating by his cheese face:

And I couldn't resist the baby picture:

Here's a little more information about Byron:

Favorite color? Red and blue.

Favorite food? Turkey sandwiches.

Favorite dessert? Mint chocolate chip ice cream and Oreo cookies.

Favorite book: Harold and the Purple Crayon.

What do you want to be when you grow up? A baseball player or do Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe (on the Discovery Channel--he loves that show).

What is your favorite thing or memory about Uncle Robert? When he plays games with me. Video games, Candyland, UNO, and especially baseball in my backyard when he lived at our house.

What is your favorite thing to learn about? Space, gardens, zoos and learning how to make books (I didn't know he was learning that one!) "And my best thing to do is to know where to get ice cream at every place." That is definitely an important thing to learn!

Favorite movie? All the Land Before Times! We've now seen all 10, thanks to Netflix! I just know you're all jealous ;)

*Robert is doing better each day. They are trying some different medication combinations that are helping his nausea. He and Ashley got to head to their apartment in Salt Lake tonight. He will go back to the clinic for appointments twice a week. They are excited about that. Last time in Tucson they went back to the clinic every day for awhile. Robert will be receiving TPN (IV nutrition) bags at home each night until he is consuming more calories during the day. The doctors said he is doing so well--with his numbers and general health--and that they could do anything that he still needs at home. Anytime Robert needs additional fluids they will send some over to his apartment for him, and hook it up to his chest catheter. They are hoping that his healing and appetite will get better faster at home! We are still looking for signs of GVHD!

They were packing up and heading home sometime tonight, so look for a post from Ashley about their excitement on being home (aka. "snuggle time")!

Thank you for your continued love, support and prayers!

Loves!

Sorry We Missed You . . .

2009-07-25T21:20:00.000-07:00

The Gratteau family, Elyssa and friend Jinny are in SLC so . . .
The past couple of days, but we have been busy! Doing a little of this . . .

Ashley's been loving on & bonding with Josie . . .

And taking a little abuse from her too!

Hi-yah, I poke your eye! Take that Aunt Ashley!

They are sharing the love here for sure!

Ashley has been loving on all the Gratteau kiddos!

And a little of that . . .

Oh, and we've been swimming in the pool!

Taryn prefers the little pool aka. the spa, so she would drag Aunt Ashley over to hang out with her there.

Pulling funny faces, Ashpants teaches Taryn all her tricks!

Byron plays catch in the big pool!

We girls enjoyed a little shopping with Ashpants, while Linda graciously watched the kiddos. Nothing like some girl time, talk, and shopping break for super sidekick.

Me and Ashpants amid our shopping adventures.

Robdob has also had some extra fun (well, as much as the hospital will allow anyway!). He and Steve hung out all day, playing video games and getting some guy time. We're pretty sure Robert enjoyed having some testosterone around, and someone to play video games with.

Robert also got lots of love! This is Jinny, she is a friend of Elyssa's and our family's. She is a massage therapist, and Robdob talked her into massaging his feet a little when she came to visit him. Robdob loves having his feet tickled and massaged, and he will take it wherever he can get it, and Jinny is no exception!

We've been having fun, getting to bring some fun and excitement to Robert and Ashley here in Salt Lake City. Hopefully Robert will be able to have that fun outside of the hospital soon, but we loved being able to spend time with our favorite super hero and sidekick wherever we could.

*Robert is doing well. He is enjoying the extra company the weekend brought with it. He has been very nauseated while they are switching him to oral medications in preparation to send him home. They will keep trying different oral nausea meds until they find what will work best for him. They are hoping he will be eating enough and feeling ready to go home by monday. We are hoping so too! It's been a long time in the hopsital and we are hoping our super hero will be able to relax at home very soon. And eat whatever his heart desires! Please keep praying for him to continue feeling better each day. Thank you for all the prayers and love you offer. It is so appreciated.

Cookbook Presale Extended!!!

2009-07-25T09:09:00.000-07:00

You now have until Wednesday, July 29th to order a super hero cookbook! To order at the special presale price, go here.

Proof is in the puddin'...

2009-07-22T19:11:00.000-07:00

Robert is quite incapable of keeping his eyes open for pictures. It's a problem. But, these pictures are proof that Robert is awake! Well, sometimes! He really is! And a lot more often lately at that. I love it.
He isn't sleeping in this picture, he is trying(not very hard I might add) to keep his peepers open for his "awake" pictures. Robert told me I should stand back farther and zoom in like a "normal" person would, so the flash isn't "all in his face". It made no difference, but, of course, I had to humor him. That's what we side-kicks do.
That's a little better Robert, but I think we should try one more...
Then he gives me something like this, open-eyed rebellion at it's finest.
There they are! Those elusive little buggers. Not many eyelashes, and the eyebrows are going too, but he is doing good, and that's what matters the most!
These open-eyed pictures are a rarity folks, so enjoy em' while you can! ;)
Robert is doing well, his throat and mouth are still sore, but they are on the mend, and we hope within the next couple of days that they heal up even quicker so that he can eat more food. His calorie intake had still ben low, but he eats a little more everyday. His numbers are still looking good, his white count has gone a little low, but that is pretty normal with immuno-suppressive drugs. It'll take them a little time to stabilize completely. All in all, things are going very well, we still haven't seen any signs of GVHD, but we are hopinge to see a little soon. We are anticipating leaving some time next week, hopefully earlier in the week!

We are grateful for you all, as always! We appreciate all you do! Please keep praying for our favorite super hero.

All our love.

Angels!

2009-07-20T21:18:00.000-07:00

Ashley posted this picture on her online journal, and I wanted to share it again here. We've shared this poem on the blog before. It was originally left in the comments on Robert and Ashley's old blog by Denise a fellow cancer survivor. Ashley loved this picture because she loves her angels.

Click to enlarge

Robdob and Ashpants have so many angels. I know that angels are present in their hospital room all the time. There are the angels, like Denise, who offer support and kind words. Their angel mothers, fathers, siblings and extended families who offer so much support. The angels who have so generously donated financial support, goods and time to ease their burden. Angel doctors and nurses who care for Robert's physical needs. And Angels who PRAY for Robert and Ashley daily!

Our super heroes are definitely supported by many, many amazing angels!

Thank you for being an angel!

*Robert is doing well today. He ate more today than he did yesterday!! He enjoyed some ice cream and watermelon. His numbers are down a bit, white blood cells are 1.0 and neutrophils are 1.8. His levels are still above neutropenic, so that is good. It is normal for them to fluctuate. You may remember they yo-yoed even more last time he was in the hospital. We're still looking for that graph vs. host disease! Thank you for your prayers and love!

Loves!

DNA Sunday--Shayla

2009-07-19T15:40:00.001-07:00

This is Shayla. She is Robert and Ashley's oldest niece and Derek's younger sister (he was spotlighted last Sunday).

She turned 8 in March and was baptized a few days after her birthday. This is Shayla after her baptism with her dad, Dave, who baptized her:

Shayla is about to have 3 brothers (she was really hoping the baby who is soon to arrive would be a baby sister). We know another family with one girl and a bunch of boys. That girl is known in their family as "the rose among the thorns." Shayla thinks that is pretty funny and plans to adopt that title in our family. That should be pretty easy for her to do since she is 100% girl.

Shayla loves to cook. Here she is helping Aunt Brittany bake a birthday cake.

Shayla also LOVES gymnastics and is quite talented at it. She can already do a back handspring.
Shayla is also very flexible, which comes in handy at gymnastics. Above is a picture taken last summer during our trip to Vegas when we last saw Robert.

Here's a little more info about Shayla:

What is your favorite color? Light Green

Favorite food? Chicken Nuggets

Favorite dessert? White Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting Topped with Fruit

What do you want to be when you grow up? A cook.

What is your favorite thing or memory about Uncle Robert? Robert and Ashley dancing on their wedding day.

What is your favorite book? The Secret Garden

What is your favorite thing to learn about? Animals
When Shayla was younger, she had VERY curly hair. The curls have since turned into waves. She likes to and is good at doing her own hair. This is Shayla when she was 3:

Robert Update: Robert's pain med pump was discontinued today. Part of the reason for that was because his blood pressure has been on the low side. And, he doesn't need it very much now that his mouth is healing. Before he can leave the hospital, he needs to be consuming 1,000 calories/day and drinking an adequate amount of fluids. He's getting better each day. Thank you for your prayers which are helping that happen!

Sleepy improvement.

2009-07-17T16:19:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! I figured you would like some new pics that don't involve Robert's flesh falling off his tongue (eww, sorry about that). But things are going good for Robert. He is engrafted, and his mouth is healing more everyday. He tried eating today, but he can't taste anything yet, and somethings just haven't gone down so nicely. The sores in his throat are still healing up, so within the next coule days it should continue to get easier.

These are Robert's bags that he is receiving now, it's down from the 15-20 it used to be, and I'm not exaggerating, because I don't joke about IV bags. IV bags are serious business, or something. He was on about 5 antibiotics because of his fevers, so we are glad that those have been stopped. He is still getting his IV nutrition, it's the big bag on the left. They just want to keep him on it until he starts consuming enough calories, it's just making sure that he gets all the things he needs to heal, which I am all about, but Robert "hates that bag".

Robert has been more awake lately, but he is still sleeping an awful lot, but sleep is the best medicine, right? I am just glad he isn't hallucinating anymore. That was a little strange. Robert, of course, doesn't remember any of his hallucinations. I was telling him about couple of them, and he was crackin' up about it. It was nice to give him some comic relief since he has been feeling kind of bummed about not being able to eat, and still being in the hospital. I love his laugh, it's one of my favorite things.

Linda is still here, she was my saving grace a couple of nights I wasn't getting much sleep. It has been super nice having her here to spell me off. I think it's nice for Robert to have his momma around, even though she drives him a little crazy sometimes, he loves her.

Things are moving along great, we are hoping to see a little GVHD (graph vs. host disease) sometime soon. So keep praying for that, please. We are so grateful for our amazing friends and family, and even the people that we don't personally know. We are so blessed to have you all, cheering us on and keeping us in your prayers. We are so grateful!

All our love.

Summer Fun!

2009-07-15T23:09:00.000-07:00

Towards the end of July last year we had a lake trip! It was heaps of fun. Steve and I loaded up our cute kiddos and headed down to Tucson, AZ to pick up Robdob and Ashpants. He was done with his first transplant! We loaded up their car and our truck and pointed our noses home. On the way we stopped over in Mesa (where we have heaps of family). Everyone wanted to see the super couple! Ashley's one request while we were there was a trip to the lake. She loved going to the lake when she lived in Arizona working at the Montessori school. So, we ran to the grocery store with our cousins and picked up all the necessary lake trip food. The next morning we were on our way to Lake Roosevelt! Tyler Whiting was the lucky boat captain, Trevor was his first mate! We had a great time!

Robdob and Ashpants enjoying each other on the lake! So happy to be done and having a good time with family doing something they love!

Ashley showing off her wake boarding skills. (Unfortunately the photog missed all her good air, sorry again Ash!)

Trevor & Robert--who was not yet allowed to come in contact with germie, gross lake water!

Ashpants always pulls the best faces! Especially for pictures. Have we mentioned that she is a little crazy? Well, she is a Squires after all, it's kind of a prerequisite!

Steve and Robert enjoying the lunch break!

We had a great time enjoying the end of summer! It was a fabulous and entertaining trip. I would love to pick them up in SLC again this time. Anyone have any ideas for post transplant fun in Utah? Something that would be a good time in late September, early October. We need that perfect activity to kick off the post transplant celebration! Here's to more summer fun and a future full of heaps of lake trips!

*Robert is doing well. We have been schooled in the true nature of engraftment. Transplant patients are officially considered engrafted when their neutrophils are above .5 for three days in a row. Well guess what? Today Robdob is officially engrafted. Monday his neutrophil count was .6, yesterday 1.5 and today 1.9! His white blood cell count is 3.8 today! All great reasons to celebrate. Oh, and that sad tongue is already on the mend! Wahooooo! He still has some pain and discomfort. Eating is at a minimum, but is slowly increasing! Things are going well for our hero! Thank you for the prayers and love! We hope you are all enjoying your summer!

Loves!

Ouuuuch.

2009-07-13T20:16:00.000-07:00

**I will begin this post with a disclaimer: picture of Robert's tongue follow! Not for the faint of heart!**

It is pretty sad and gross. Ashley took this picture and uploaded it for me to see, and even though it isn't pleasant to look at I thought I would share. This is Robert's sad reality and pain. His current great nemesis mucisitis is trying to bring him down. But our superhero Robdob is fighting back. He is still requesting peanut butter sandwiches even if he can only get down one bite! He drinks his apple juice! And by golly when he wants to break out the big guns he sucks on those hospital ice chips!!!

Our superhero's greatest friend and helper Neutro-Phil has been hard at work too. As a result of all this hard work Robert's numbers are up to 1.3 today which is incredible!!! .6 of those numbers are neutrophils which means that this sad tongue will start healing soon!

The fact that Robert's numbers climbing up so well has the doctors convinced that Amanda's stem cells are well engrafted/implanted. This is such fabulous news. Now we just need some graft vs. host and we'll be set! Ok, it may take a bit more than that, but things are going very well for our superhero.

Robert is more awake, he even played some video games today. Ashley says it is funny to watch him though because he will doze off in the middle of a game and then wake up and keep playing. He doesn't always remember which levels he has played either, so then when he logs into his game he get a little confused and upset because he is just sure someone else is playing his games and 'messing them up'. Ashley is on video game guard duty to be sure no one comes in and plays his games! That's a good sidekick Ashpants!

Thank you for all your prayers and support. Please keep them coming!

Loves!

DNA Sunday

2009-07-12T18:00:00.000-07:00

So we thought it would be fun to start up the DNA Sundays again and highlight Robert and Ashley's nieces and nephews. We realize that this excludes the Ashworth side of the family, but Linda is an honorary Grandma to the Gratteau children at church, we love Ashworth-Squires get together's to celebrate birthdays and Robdob's triumphs, and his siblings are like Aunts and Uncles to all our children as well. So, we don't think they'll mind!

Derek is Ashley and Robert's oldest nephew. He is 10 1/2 now and was 7 1/2 when they got married. Derek is the first child of Ashley's oldest sister, Kristin. He has 1 sister, 1 brother, and another brother who will be born any day now.

Derek and Uncle Robert have one big thing in common--a love for baseball. Derek's love for baseball began young--around age 2. This picture is from Derek's first T-ball season in May 2004 when he was 5 1/2:

Derek aspires to be a star pitcher like RobDob was. He's on his way to doing so:

Derek Pitching--May 2009

He was excited to see Uncle Robert after his treatments were completed last summer. We went to the Grand Canyon for a family reunion and spent a few nights in Vegas playing Rock Band and being together.

Here's a little more info about Derek:
What is your favorite color? Blue.
Favorite food? Hamburgers.
Favorite dessert? Oreo Ice Cream Cake.
What do you want to be when you grow up? A professional baseball player.
What is your favorite memory or thing about Uncle Robert? The funny thing he put on his nose when he came to Houston for my baptism. (How convenient--we have a picture of that!)

What is your favorite joke? There's a guy walking through a forest. He is warned by an old gnome that if he steps on any purple mushrooms, he'll have to marry the ugliest lady in the world. As he walks through the forest, avoiding stepping on the purple mushrooms, a very beautiful lady appears. She says, "I have to marry you." He asks, "Why?" She says, "I stepped on one of those pesky, purple mushrooms." Derek catches on to jokes quickly, and laughed quite hard when he realized the guy walking through the forest is the ugliest man in the world.
What is your favorite book? The Alex Rider series. (Derek LOVES to read).
What is your favorite thing to learn about? Math.

*Robert is doing better little by little. They changed his pain medication to dilaudid and his hallucinations have gotten better. For the most part he knows where he is, but he is still easily confused. His numbers were .2 yesterday and they are .4 today! Best news we have heard all week!!!

He is developing a rash on his chest, neck and legs. We are hoping this is a graph vs. host rash. Apparently they will know it is a G vs. H rash if it spreads to his palms and the soles of his feet.

His mouth is still sad. He gets hungry and wants to eat, but then gets frustrated when it hurts him so much! The faster his numbers come up the faster it will heal!

Hugs & Kisses

Cookbook With a Cause

2009-07-11T06:02:00.000-07:00

While Robert recovers from his Bone Marrow Transplant, we are keeping ourselves busy with the presale of a cookbook fundraiser. The cookbook will contain recipes for RobDob's favorite things to eat as well as much-loved recipes of his extended family. We hope that by the time this presale ends (July 20th) that his mouth is healed and he is once again able to enjoy eating his favorite foods!

To learn more and/or purchase a cookbook, please go to http://supportforrobdob.blogspot.com/.

Thank you for the support you give in SO many ways. The amount of love and support from family, friends, and even strangers is humbling and inspiring!

A Quick Update

2009-07-10T21:14:00.000-07:00

Robdob's hallucinations are a little better tonight. They got worse last night. He kept trying to get out of his bed, and he is attached to way to many things to do that without help. They turned on his bed alarm so that the nurses would know if he was getting up without Ashley having to push the call button. Around 2:00 a.m. his nurse told Ashley that he thought Robert should have a 24 hour nurse. Ashley agreed and was very grateful. They will have a nurse in their room all the time until Robert is a little more 'with it' and can remember where he is. Ashley got very little sleep last night, so she is hoping that she'll get a little more tonight knowing that someone else is keeping an eye on Robdob. Linda stayed with Robert most of the day so Ashley could go back to the apartment and get caught up on some sleep.

They know that one of his meds is what is causing Robert's current state of mind. Morphine is the main suspect. They have cut back on that one and it seems to be helping. He got all showered and cleaned up around 8:00 and is peacefully sawing logs! Let's hope for every one's sake that continues!

Robert's tongue is still really swollen and raw, he isn't eating much. The TPN IV is his main source of nutrition currently. His numbers are pretty much non-existent. I think the count down is 3-6 days to see them start coming up!! His fever has been better today too!

I'm amazed daily at Robert's strength and courage. He is braving this battle with all of it's physical pain and the mental and emotional turmoil that must come with it with such faith. He remains cheerful and upbeat in the face of what appears to me as insurmountable odds.

And dear Ashley, she never ceases to amaze me. I don't know where she continually finds the strength and patience as she continually supports Robert. I'm the nursing mom of a newborn and I got way more sleep than she did last night. Yet I still found myself 'at the end of my rope' once or twice today looking for 'more rope'. I found it and all was well. Ashley helps me keep my perspective. She is constantly stating how lucky and blessed she is. I know that what she says is true, and realize that if she can say it, I can too. I am so lucky and blessed!

I know that some of her blessing comes from the faith and prayers that flow to her from all of you each day as well as to our hero Robdob! We say thank you every day, because there isn't enough gratitude to express our feelings!

Thank you!

Hugs & Kisses!

This was the Wedding . . .

2009-07-09T11:31:00.000-07:00

Of Ashley's dreams. Robert and Ashley were both marrying the girl and boy of their dreams.

It was truly a perfect wedding on a beautiful day.

With their rings they promised to hold and cherish one another for time and all eternity.

The beautiful bride and dashing groom.

There has never been any question as to how these two feel about each other.

Two hearts truly in love!

These two lovebirds have chemistry! Ashley can't help kicking up her heel when Robert gives her a kiss, and check out her kicks! Ashley had her all white Converse shoes special ordered for her big day!

The Squires Family

Steve, Janelle & Byron Gratteau, Dave, Kristin, Shayla & Derek Baker, Brad, Robert, Ashley, Lori, Karalee, Tyler & Todd Garber, Chelsa & Brandon Squires, Elyssa, Brittany

The Ashworth Family

Richmond, Ryan, Ken, Robert, Ashley, Linda, Alycia, Amanda & Anjelica

The gorgeous bride.

The handsome groom.

They had quite the reception that really represented them. They had wings because they love them, everything at their wedding was black, white and red, and they totally partied the night away . . .

They ate cake . . .

Ashley tossed her bouquet . . .

Far more exciting was Robert throwing the garter, which he removed with his teeth (peer pressure :) I love Ashley's face in this picture. They were definitely having fun . . .

And they danced and kissed the night away . . .

'Love Conquers All'

is another quote from the wall. I can't think of another couple who exemplify that any better than Robert and Ashley. Three years ago they started their life together. They have conquered so much in that short time. They have this one last battle to win in Robert's war with leukemia, and they are definitely conquering in SLC . . .

And then they will walk forward into the rest of their life together to enjoy the children, triumphs and joy that they truly deserve, for . . .

This is just the beginning . . .

*Robert's fever comes and goes. All of his infection cultures have come back clean, so they are a bit puzzled by the fever. His mouth and throat continue to bother him. He got an extra morphine push tonight and had a couple of his 'drug induced hallucinations'. There was a different blanket on his bed than the one he normally has. It had little black polka dots. He woke up and told Ashley, "Come here, look! There are ants in my bed! You have to get them." Ashley assured him that there weren't ants in his bed to which he replied while pointing at the black dots, "yes there are, look they're everywhere!" He was so convinced he made them change his bedding.

The other was that he was sure his dad was in his room. When Ashley finally convinced him that they were alone he had to call his dad to tell him that he loved him.

He also talks in his sleep even more when he is on morphine. While I was getting the update from Ashley you could hear him in the background saying, "come here Daisy, come here!" Must have been dreaming about his sweet dog. While it is a bit strange for him to do these things, it does provide Ashley with a bit of comic relief!

The doctors are expecting Robert's numbers to start climbing within 4-7 days from now which will allow his body to replace the mucous membranes in his mouth and throat and help them heal. He is still on TPN for now. He sleeps a lot. He is doing well all things considered. We credit all the faith and prayers that are offered daily on his behalf. Thank you!

Loves!

Three Years Ago . . .

2009-07-08T23:13:00.000-07:00

Robert and Ashley were sealed for time and all eternity in the Las Vegas temple.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Ashley loves quotes and put up a whole wall of them at her wedding. This was one of my favorites:

Love is the emblem of ETERNITY it confounds all notions of time; effaces all memory of the beginning, all fear of an end.

Truly the way RobDob and Ashpants love each other!

Look for a wedding post tomorrow with more pictures!

*Robert's fever got up to 102 last night, they brought it down with meds today and it has been hovering around 100.6 all afternoon. His tongue is quite swollen making him difficult to understand, and his mouth is causing him the most pain right now. The second culture for infection came back negative! Yeah!

The docs are giving Robert small pushes of the anti-rejection meds (less than he received his last transplant) through his catheter. They will start to back them off over the next two days. This should allow his recovery to speed up, and get graph vs. host symptoms (hopefully mild ones).

He is still very sleepy and a bit out of it because he is on morphine and so many other meds. Ashley is not sure he knew today was their anniversary. Keep the prayers coming! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

A Talk on Prayer and Faith

2009-07-07T16:42:00.000-07:00

Most of you probably know that we are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as Mormons. The children in our church attend primary. They spend part of the time in a big group, and part in smaller classes. When they are all together the children get the opportunity to give talks. Byron was asked to speak on 'How Faith and Prayer Bless my Family.' He was excited to prepare a talk, so we started off with a conversation.

Mom: How do you think prayer and faith bless our family?

Byron: Well, um prayer is good. (puzzled expression) What exactly is faith?

M: (new approach) What do you pray about when you say family prayers, or your personal prayers?

B: I pray for the food . . . and I pray for Uncle Robert every night.

*Could you ask for a situation that could be more perfect to teach a child about prayer and faith? I think not.*

We had found the subject for his talk. We continued our conversation about praying for Robert and Ashley, what faith is, etc. While I put the words down on paper for him, Byron came up with the content of his talk. As he shared these words tears appeared in a few of the primary teachers and leaders eyes, mine included. I thought it would be fun to share it again here.

Byron showed this picture while sharing the following:

This is my Uncle Robert and Aunt Ashley. Robert is bald because he is sick. He has leukemia, a type of cancer. He is in the hospital a lot and he has a lot of doctors helping him.

He then showed this picture (original coloring by Byron) while sharing:

Prayer and faith have blessed my Uncle Robert. Every night when I pray I ask Heavenly Father to bless Robert to get better, and to bless his doctors to help him.

Children can't visit the cancer wing of the hospital, so I can't see him until he comes home. So, when Robert is in the hospital I pray that he will be able to come home soon, so I can see him and Ashley again!

Then I use my faith.

I have faith and believe that Heavenly Father will help Robert to get better and be healthy and strong again. Then he will grow his hair back too!

He then showed the first picture again and finished with:

There are a lot of people all over the world who are praying with faith for my Uncle Robert and Aunt Ashley. Prayer and faith bless my family by helping my Uncle Robert to get better.

May we all pray with the faith of a child!

*Robert's fever hit 100.6 last night, but it was brought down with medication. The cultures came back negative for infection! That is great news. They took a couple more cultures, apparently infections can hide in cancer patients, so they are checking everywhere. Robert's throat is still bothering him, and he is having difficulty eating. He is on TPN aka. IV nutrition to help him get what he needs. He is still the sleepy Jedi Knight! Keep praying for his throat and that he will continue to be infection free! Thank you!

Love, hugs & kisses!

Ultimate Fighting Champion

2009-07-06T22:59:00.000-07:00

These days Robert is like an amazing UFC fighter. You know how all the great UFC fighters know jiu jitsu, street fighting, boxing, kick boxing, punching, pinching and eye-poking? Well Robert is like that with leukemia, his treatments and all the side effects! He put the smack down on the leukemia lumps in his legs with radiation aka. street fighting. He knocked out the blood leukemia cells with chemo aka. boxing. He is growing new bone marrow cells with the help of Amanda's cells and his BMT aka. eye-poking. So you see he has his own versions of all the best fighting moves. I think he totally qualifies as the ULTIMATE FIGHTING CHAMPION!!!
And he is pretty much my hero as well as being a super hero! The only opponent who has found his weakness currently is the nasty Mucicitis, and unfortunately he has Robert in a choke hold! Not for long though! He is getting help from the mighty morphine and we just know that his new bone marrow cells will start producing everything he needs to rejuvenate the mucous membranes in his mouth, throat and esophagus any day now!
RobDob got a fever late on Saturday night. He has been started on antibiotics and they were able to bring the fever down easily with meds. He started the third antibiotic in his cocktail of helpers today. His fever has come and gone every once in awhile, but remains low grade, and hasn't gotten above 100.5 (when they get concerned) again. They did some cultures on him to see if he has any infections, but we don't know the results of those yet. He is still sleeping a lot--you know back to the old Jedi mind tricks that serve him so well! He is so good at those he can do them in his sleep.
Ashpants says that really other than the pain in his throat, RobDob is doing very well this transplant. That is what we love to hear! She is doing well too. This is always the hardest time for her, when she has to see Robert in pain and uncomfortable and there isn't much she can do to help him. He has been neutropenic for a couple of days, and she knows those numbers will start to come up soon, and he will be more comfortable then.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for the prayers, fasting, comments and love that you send our super hero couple all the time! They feel all the support and are immensely grateful!

Hugs!

Transplant Part II. Infusion

2009-07-04T15:24:00.001-07:00

This is them. Those babies made it safe and sound to the BMT wing. Robert received his Stem Cell infusion yesterday. If you read my blog during his first transplant then you know that the actual transplant is pretty anti-climactic. The stem cells infuse just like any other infusion he receives, such as platelets or red blood cells. It goes pretty quickly, 2 bags this size took about a half an hour. Robert had no problems during infusion, except a little nausea, but that happens frequently. So it went well yesterday.
This is Richard. He is a character. He says he's like a mom, and he is. He tells Robert every time he is his nurse how important mouth care is and everything. He is a bit bossy, like a mom. But it's good to have nurses that really care about their patients and their jobs. He was Robert's nurse yesterday, so he infused the Stem cells.
This is Robert's Central line, also known as a hickman catheter. It goes under the skin up and over the collar bone and right into Robert's heart valve(I forget which one, sorry). They give him lots of fluid, medicine, and blood products through it so they need multiple line, which is why there are three attached. They also take his daily labs from his catheter, so they don't have to poke him all the time. It is kind of a pain, but it is better than getting poke with needles for everything. Robert will have this in until we leave Utah.
Robert slept through most of the transplant. So peaceful when he sleeps, right? He was tired. His mucusitis was getting worse and he was resting a lot. He has been today too. They put him on a PCA last night, which lets him control his pain medication. It is a good thing, unless he sleeps too long and wakes up in pain. But, it helps him a lot. His mouth and throat are a little worse today, but that is to be expected from the TBI and chemo. Other than the mucusitis he is doing very well. Just sleeping a lot.
I made him wake up for a picture(such a meanie, I know). I miss kissing him when he is in the hospital. 4-5 weeks is a long time to go without a smooch from your honey. So I make do with air-kisses like this. I can't wait until we get to snuggle and sleep in the same bed. It is always one of the things I look forward to the most when we are in the hospital. It's good to look forward to things. Keeps me excited.

Robert's counts are all still low, they will start coming up when engraftment happens. Right now the new stem cells are going into Robert's bones to start attaching and growing all the new cells he will need. That will happen in about 1-2 weeks.

Thank you to all of you for the continual prayers and love. Please keep praying for Robert's speedy recovery and that everything will go well with the new stem cells. Please remember him in your fasts tomorrow!...and thank you so much for that. We are faithful and have lots of hope, and we are so blessed to have so many people have the that faith and hope for Robert as well.

All our love.

Transplant Part I. The Donor

2009-07-03T21:57:00.000-07:00

As you all know Amanda, Robert's sister, was able to be his donor again. She has been getting neupogen shots (they stimulate the stem cells to grow) since Sunday. They collected her stem cells yesterday and today. They ended up needing to do two days to get enough of the goods for Robert.

Bright eyed and bushy tailed, they started collecting her stem cells at 7:00 am both days. (Don't tell her, but Robert and I were still sleeping ;)

They had to put in her IV's and get everything set up. Big scary machine on right, it's okay Amanda, don't be afraid. Okay, really she isn't afraid, she's a champ. Champest of champs, even.

I don't know this nurses name (How rude) but all the nurses around here are awesome.

Justin, Amanda's boyfriend came up to SLC to party and mountain bike. Okay, not really. He came up to be with Amanda. He is a sweet guy. Good thing he came too, someone had to guard the door while she went pee. (TMI again? Sorry. It's totally natural.)

They brought movies to watch and pass the time. Both days it took about 5 hours to collect. Like I said, she is a champ.

Linda, offering a little TLC. She says Robert doesn't let her do things for him (Ha, except tickle his feet, he'll let anyone tickle his feet) so Amanda is nice and lets her. It makes Linda feel loved. Watch this be the only post she reads... she it a little bit computer illiterate.

She will even admit to "hovering". She is awesome though. I have a great mother-in-law.

People always ask if this is a painful procedure for Amanda, and the answer is: only a little. She gets an IV put in, well two really. One pulls out her blood and it gets taken into a special machine that spins out the stem cells and then returns the rest of her blood back into the 2nd IV. There is no drilling in bones or anything horrific like that. It's not the most comfortable thing in the world, but it is relatively painless. The neupogen shots give her headaches and make her bones ache a little bit because of the quick growth of her stem cells. Amanda just ends up feeling tired and worn out after donating.

All of Amanda's blood runs through this loop thing and through the machine.

Cradling her babies and keeping em' safe until they can make their way to Robert. He got 2 bags about that size.

They transport the Stem cells in this nifty cooler. I am sure it is high tech and special, but I am not quite sure how. Maybe it isn't... how boring.

All smiles. Staying happy and positive so those Stem cells will be too!

Ta Dah! Magic really. How fabulous that we have the technology for this kind of thing. I am grateful for medical technology everyday. It's amazing. I am also grateful that everything went well for Amanda. She is recovering nicely. She is going back to the Clinic tomorrow to get her blood counts checked and make sure everything looks good. She is doing great. She is definitely the super hero's HERO!

Robert received Amanda's stem cells around 5:00 pm today and he is doing well so far. He is getting really bad mucusitis from the TBI and chemotherapy. It is basically a breakdown of the mucus membranes in your mouth, esophagus, and GI track. It is not fun, at all. It makes it super tender and already Robert isn't able to eat much. So please keep praying for a quick recovery and that his graph will take soon so his numbers will start climbing.

This sunday is fast sunday, so again I am inviting all those who would like to, to include Robert in your fast. It means a lot to both of us. This next couple weeks will probably be the most difficult for him, so please pray for him often as well. Thank you so much. It means so much.

All our love.

Today's the BIG Day . . .

2009-07-03T14:42:00.000-07:00

So I thought we could set you up with info. more than once! I just talked to Ashley, and Amanda had more bone marrow stem cells harvested this morning. 2.7 million was the total harvested yesterday and they need 5 million. The stem cells will be counted and processed soon to determine if there are enough. Robert will receive his bone marrow transplant around 6:00 tonight. Amanda will have some follow up blood work done tomorrow to be sure that all of her blood levels (magnesium, etc.) look good.

Robert's mucuscitis is getting a little worse. Trix have fallen down the favorite food totem pole a notch or too. It hurts him to swallow, so Ashley is looking for soft food alternatives that Robert will eat. She's hoping the chocolate pudding and chicken noodle soup she picks up at the store will do the trick! Other than that he is doing really well. He is still tired and got 14 hours of sleep last night (minus a couple interruptions from nurses).

We'll post again tonight after his transplant! Thank you for remembering him in your thoughts and prayers on his big day!

Love and hugs!

Gratitude for the Wildcats!!!

2009-07-02T16:45:00.000-07:00

There have been quite a few fundraising efforts on Robdob's behalf. We would like to share them with you and offer our gratitude to those who have so generously given! We decided to start with the most recent fundraiser and work our way back! Las Vegas High School will occasionally do 'miracle minutes' for students who are in need of money for various reasons. Brittany is a member of the National Honor Society and asked them to host a miracle minute for Robert. The Principal approved it since Robert is an Alumni and as they say, "once a wildcat, always a wildcat!" Brittany and Alycia got together and made this video on my Mac (now they just need to teach me their tricks! :))

We are trying to fix the video being cut off on the right side. You can click on the video and it will take you to YouTube. You can watch the full screen version there.

They played the video during 3rd period and then members of the NHS, Brittany, Alycia and some friends went from class to class and collected money. They raised $1,500! So many students and staff donated. They counted $120.00 in quarters! We are so grateful to all those who so generously gave! Those students are proof that a little from many really adds up!

A big thank you to Brittany and Alycia for the work they put into the video, and to the National Honor Society for hosting this fundraiser!

Wasn't the video awesome? Robdob is one fierce wildcat! ;)

THANK YOU WILDCATS!

*Robert is doing well. He is enjoying his 'day of rest' from treatments. He is getting some morphine for a mild case of mucuscitis in his throat. He is still eating well. He subsists on the fabulous diet of Trix, chicken pot pies, PBJ's, EasyMac, and ding dongs! He is eating good portions, and that keeps Ashley happy! :) That also means he uses the 'hat' regularly, and that is a good thing (hee, hee).

They harvested Amanda's bone marrow stem cells at 7:00a.m. They will do a count of them tonight. If they don't have enough they will harvest more tomorrow morning (we will do a post about that with pictures soon.) Robert should receive them tomorrow late afternoon, between 3:00 and 5:00p.m. We'll be sure to post tomorrow when that is done and let you know how it goes.

Please continue to pray for him and Ashley. Thank you for all the comments! Robert and Ashley have both told me how much they love to read them! I know people leave them messages on facebook as well! They love the little connection they have to the outside world while they are in the hospital, keeps them from getting lonely! Thank you with LOVE!

No More Chemo!

2009-07-01T18:00:00.000-07:00

Today was Robert's second and last day of chemo. Hopefully, it was his very last chemo treatment ever, and he'll get to enjoy a lifetime of living in remission!

Robert was very happy to be finished with radiation on Monday. He said it made him feel a little weird, but the worst part was the uncomfortable device he had to stand in that Ashley told us about a couple days ago. He may have to have some more radiation on his leg after he leaves the hospital, but the full body radiation is finished.

Amanda, who I lovingly refer to as "The Superhero's Hero" is in Salt Lake right now. Her bone marrow cells will be collected tomorrow and Friday. Robert gets a day of rest tomorrow, and after Amanda's cell collection is finished on Friday, they will give the donated cells to Robert.

His white blood cell count will begin to plummet soon, so please continue to pray for his health and strength. He is most at-risk for infection when his counts are low. We hope he stays free of infection during this hospital stay!

Tour du Jour.

2009-06-28T14:04:00.000-07:00

So today I am giving you all a sweet tour of Robert's hospital room. It's sure to be the most exciting part of you day. Get ready for some random! The picture above is the saying on Robert's bathroom door, right across from his bed, so he sees it all the time. I thought it was really cool that another patient had put it up for future patients to enjoy. I love it when someone does something like that for people they don't even know. The world is full of good, and good peeps. And that's a good thing.

This is our whole room from the doorway. Robert was sleeping. Isn't he adorable? Especially when he sleeps. ;D

He woke up! Only because I tempted him with a delicious bowl of Trix drenched with ice-cold milk. I have to make food sound ultra delicious, you know. Plus, I turn on the TV to sports center and he can hardly resist! I'm just that good. He is still eating well. No mouth sores or anything like that, so he is eating enough, which makes me a happy woman.

RobDob is still consuming these for a good portion of his meals. I am surprised he is still into them so much. Usually he gets sick of things when he gets done with a treatment, or starts a new one. Not this time. That sneaky Rabbit has got a hold on Robert's taste buds. I'll let him keep it. I think it's funny. The nurses always get a kick out of it too.

Here's my resting quarters. It's actually a little couch that folds out into a bed. It's pretty sweet. As you can see I've got our laptop and plenty of books to read. So I keep busy and entertained when Robert is sleeping, which has been quite a bit still. The radiation makes him sleepy. Kind of a good side effect if you ask me.

So Robert is still peeing in his urinal, but they also measure the dirty 2. I guess they want to make sure everything is looking okay and they know how much fluid is coming out. I think those things are more sensitive for a transplant patient. For his 1st transplant it took Robert quite awhile to be able to er, go . . . in the "hat", but this time he's like, yeah whatever, I'll show that turd who's boss! And he does. Luckily, regularly. Okay, okay. Enough of that. I know, I'm gross. But who doesn't enjoy a little toilet humor every now and again? Even if it is a little more literal.

Here's a look at the whole bathroom. As you can see they have a seat built into the shower. Super smart. Robert sits in the shower no matter if there is a seat or not. (I know, it's weird. But we still love him. Don't we?) I don't use his bathroom, ever. It's a rule. One I am quite used to, so I trek out to the ladies room outside the clinic, since I am a respecter of the rules. Luckily it's not too far.

This is the view from our room window. Not too shabby, eh? We're glad we will be able to see fireworks on July 4th. That will be fun. I love when it rains here. Really anywhere. It's fabulous, and a nice change from the Vegas heat.

Robert has his last day of radiation tomorrow. Excitement! He might have to get a couple more treatments on his leg, but the TBI will be finished tomorrow. Then he is getting 2 days of chemotherapy. He is extremely happy that radiation will be done tomorrow. They showed me the radiation room today after he was finished. The contraption that they have him standing in/on does not look fun. Super uncomfortable. I wish I had had my camera to take a picture. Maybe they will let me take one tomorrow. Robert is feeling pretty good, and doing well with everything so far. Thank you for the comments, love, and prayers! Please keep them coming.

All our love.

Trix... I mean tres

2009-06-26T21:20:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy Joy Argento

Today was day three for Robert. He is still enjoying his Trix cereal, and said something that made Ashley laugh. She asked him if he was hungry and he said no. Then she clarified and said "You don't want any Trix." Robert said "yes..." and then he said "I had a Trix yesterday."Ashley was a little confused, so Robert said "I had a Trix during my treatment." Ash asked "Stuck on your gown?"
Robdob replied "Yes it was going through h*** with me."
It is a little sad that Robdob is going through this again, but I always admire that he does it with an amazing attitude, and still manages to make us laugh. His third round of radiation was this morning at 7 am. It went smoothly and, after that, Ashpants and Robdob were able to get some r&r. He is still very tired so he slept quite a bit, but when I spoke with Ashley he was watching a funny movie. It was nice to know that some things stay the same, Robert loves to laugh too.
Tune in again tomorrow for a brand new episode of Robdob, and his sidekick Ashpants!!

Day 2

2009-06-25T21:49:00.000-07:00

Today was a long day for Robert. This morning he had his Hickman catheter put in, also known as a triple lumen. He will have this catheter in his chest the whole time that he is in Salt Lake. This afternoon he had his second round of radiation, and it went well. It only took an hour and a half, which was a big improvement over yesterday. Apparently since it was his first round of radiation it was more time consuming, it took three hours. He has had some itchiness because of it, and it makes him very tired, but so far so good. Unfortunately his headaches continue to bother him, and he had to get IV liquids yesterday because he was getting dehydrated. We are really hoping that those pesky headaches will stop bothering him soon, there are other things he should get to focus on. (like his adorable, incredible wife, and eating whatever his heart desires)
Both Robert and Ashley are holding up well. We are so grateful for the incredible care available for Robert, and for all of your love and prayers. Thank You!

Popsicles, and one step closer.

2009-06-24T11:40:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! Robert got admitted to the Bone Marrow Transplant wing at the University of Utah Hospital today. He will be receiving his first round of radiation today around 4:30. He will have 6 days of TBI(total body irradiation), and 2 days of chemotherapy following that. He is a little nervous for the radiation, since he has never had it before. Overall though he is feeling pretty good. I'm sure you're all wondering whats with the popsicles? Well, in the last week we have eaten a couple of big boxes of these babies. There are these slow melt popsicles that are delicious. At first I was skeptical, but then I read the box and found out that a little bit of gelatin is what keeps them from melting fast, and it gives them a smooth texture. We love em'. Robert is also a huge fan of fudgsicles. I prefer the fruity route. Also... anyone who knows some excellent food options in or around the Salt Lake City area, please let us know. We are always looking for new good eats!

It was fun to get to hang out for a while here before Robert got admitted. I got our apartment set up, and we just relaxed. We didn't go much of anywhere, because those dang migraines are still plaguing Robert, since his lumbar puncture. Luckily they are getting better. Hopefully non-existent soon.

Cheers to getting Robert's treatment going! We are excited to be getting closer step-by-step to being done with Robert's treatment. So many miracles have happened over the last couple of months. It is amazing that Robert is getting his transplant in itself, considering how sick he got his last hopsital visit. It is a testament to all the prayers, and fasting that all of you do for him. We are so blessed. Robert wants me to especially thank you for all the comments you left in his "waiting room". He loved hearing from all of you. It is amazing to know we have friends all over, pulling for us. It is so nice for us to read your encouraging words. In the hospital especially, it becomes kind of our own little world, and at times we feel so secluded from the rest of the world. So please keep the encouragment and support coming. It means so much to both of us. Now that Robert has started treatment, me or my wonderful sisters will try to post everyday to let you know how he is doing. Please continue keeping him in your prayers. We are staying positive and know that he will pull through this strong. Thank you again for all that you do, it does more for us than you'll ever know.

All our love.

Captain Morgan

2009-06-20T06:11:00.000-07:00

As promised in the "Favorite Things" post earlier this week, here's a picture of RobDob in his new hat.

One day when Robert was home between Salt Lake trips, he sported the lovely new straw hat his mom bought him and enjoyed a little soak in the pool. He calls this his "Captain Morgan" pose. :)

Daisy got some pool time, too.

Robert and Ashley arrived in Salt Lake Thurs. afternoon. The only bad part of their trip was that Robert got a migraine on the way. He's continued to get headaches since the lumbar puncture. The radiologist told them how the radiation would work and that they would make a custom shield for his lungs to protect them during the radiation. The Dr. also said that the headaches would have to be under control before the radiation could begin. So, they went to the ER that night to work on the headaches. He got a couple bags of fluid and some medication for the headaches.

When they're not at the Dr. or hospital, Robert rests and eats. Ashley cooks for him and is working on getting them unpacked and settled into their temporary home.

Donning Their Capes

2009-06-17T20:07:00.000-07:00

Early Thursday morning, our super heroes will don their capes and return to Salt Lake City--this time, it will be for 100+ days. This call to action came in Tuesday evening.

Thursday at 1PM, they have an appointment with RobDob's radiologist to talk about the treatment plan for the bumps on his leg. Based on what Robert and Ashley know at this point, he will first receive radiation on his leg bumps to kill the leukemia cells. Then, he will receive about 5 days of full-body radiation and a couple days of chemo. After that, he will receive his second bone marrow transplant.

Our super hero's sister (and hero!), Amanda, will once again be Robert's bone marrow donor. The biggest difference between this bone marrow transplant and the first one will be that this time the doctors will not give Robert anti-rejection medication as early on as they did during his first transplant. They will wait--probably until after he shows signs of host vs. graft disease.
Based on my understanding, the blessing of Robert getting host vs. graft disease is that once Amanda's bone marrow takes over in his body, her marrow will recognize leukemia cells as the enemy and kill them if they ever start to grow again. Because Robert didn't get host vs. graft disease with the first transplant, Amanda's marrow didn't build up an immunity to Robert's leukemia cells. (I hope I don't have to edit and correct this info later on, but that may happen because my knowledge about host vs. graft is somewhat limited. If you know better than I, please leave a comment).

From what we hear, super heroes are not exempt from the miseries of radiation. So, please continue to keep Robert in your prayers.

RobDob's Favorite Things

2009-06-15T19:00:00.001-07:00

Ashley's home cooking,
And video games with brothers.
Sleeping in his own bed,
And his pillow full of feathers.
Snuggles from Daisy,
And a new hat for his head...(picture of him wearing it will post in a day or two)
These are a few of Rob's favorite things...

While RobDob plays the waiting game (for all of last week's test results), he is definitely enjoying a few of his favorite things.

The only other test result that's in is the biopsy of the bumps on the back of his leg. They are indeed a grouping of leukemia cells. It concerns the docs a bit that the bumps are there even after his last two rounds of chemo. Robert and Ashley are looking forward to getting the rest of the test results because after those are known, the doctors will be able to devise a treatment plan.

Robert and Ashley are enjoying their time back in Vegas, although Ashley is wishing there was a more solid plan so she knew whether or not she should be packing right now for their 4-month stay in Salt Lake. Robert has been getting headaches off and on from the lumbar puncture he had this past Thurs. Ashley said that aside from the headaches, he is feeling pretty well. He got a massage from Karalee today. They've spent a lot of time at his parents' house--hanging out with Daisy and his siblings who are out of school now and always available to entertain Robert with video games.

Thank you for your continued love and prayers--they are Robert and Ashley's most favorite thing at this time.

Homeward Bound

2009-06-11T15:36:00.000-07:00

Ashley and Robert drove up to Salt Lake on Monday. As I write this, they are homeward bound after spending Monday through today at the Huntsman Center for Robert to undergo the testing necessary to chart his treatment plan. He went through all the tests that Ashley posted about a week ago.

The cardiologist visited with them this morning before they left to return home. The results from his heart test are the only test results that have come in so far. As far as his heart is concerned, he is cleared for a bone marrow transplant this summer. They were grateful to get that good news before returning home.

As more test results and Robert's treatment plan become known, we will share them here. So, stay tuned. Welcome home, Robert & Ashley!

Superhero Fans in the Waiting Room

2009-06-10T21:09:00.000-07:00

Wow! What amazing superhero fans there are in RobDob's waiting room. Thank you to all who have commented on the last post so far--keep the comments coming! I know your prayers, thoughts, and encouragement mean the world to our superheroes.

Only a true superhero could be as tan as RobDob is even after a 5-week stay in the hospital.

Ashpants and RobDob sharing some love after the baby blessing this past Sunday.

Ashpants showing off her hot new shoes. Her super boots needed a break.

We had a wonderful and eventful weekend enjoying time with family. Robert and Ashley had a graduation party with the Ashworth's, and Josephine's baby blessing. After the blessing we had a delicious meal at the Squires. Unfortunately they left on Monday so they missed out on the actual graduation ceremony for Brittany and Alycia. I am sure they were crushed.

I spoke with Ashley briefly this morning and she said Robert's testing is going well so far. He had already gotten a lumbar puncture and was scheduled for his bone marrow biopsy at noon today. That was his last big test, and I believe his final test is tomorrow morning at eight. They will head home after that, and they are excited to come home again. Even if it is for just a little while. I will post again tomorrow once I know how everything went. We love you all.

RobDob's "Waiting Room"

2009-06-06T18:00:00.000-07:00

Since Janelle is on maternity leave from posting to this blog, I get to take a turn! I am Ashley's oldest sister, Kristin.

I have a friend here in Texas who has practically lived at Texas Children's Hospital so far this year with the Down Syndrome baby they adopted in January. Her situation reminds me of all the time Robert and Ashley have spent in the hospital since his November 2007 diagnosis.

This friend of mine updates her blog daily to keep those interested in her daughter's progress informed. One day she wrote a post sharing an interesting statistic she learned from a show she had listened to. The guest on the show shared that the number of people sitting in the waiting room for an injured or sick patient receiving care in an Emergency Room had a direct correlation with how the patient fared and recovered. Those with few or no friends or family in the waiting room didn't do as well or recover as quickly as those with many friends and family in the waiting room. The support in the waiting room is like a lifeline and motivation for the patient to pull through and recover.

My friend figured that her blog is like the door between their "Emergency Room" (the hospital) and the "Waiting Room" that is cyber space. She requested that everyone reading her blog leave a comment so they would know who is in their cyber waiting room.

Let's do the same for Robert. We know there are hundreds of you in Robert's "Waiting Room." Let him know you are there. He's got a lot ahead of him the next few months, as you may have gathered from Ashley's post yesterday. Perhaps he'll fare better and recover more quickly if he has a concrete idea of exactly how many people are pulling for him and cheering him on as he continues his super hero battle with leukemia.

Please take a moment to leave a comment. Feel free to comment anonymously or just using your first name--whatever you're comfortable with. Thank you for all your love and support. It means so much!

Robert Update: He and Ashley arrived home from Utah safely last night and are enjoying a weekend surrounded by family (and no doubt some delicious food, too). Robert will get to participate in the blessing of Janelle's baby, Josie, tomorrow.

Fasting & Prayer Invitation.

2009-06-05T11:33:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone. Robert and I are just getting ready to leave SLC. He didn't get any testing done, they want us to come back early next week for all the testing. His BMT doc is concerned that Robert still has the bump on the back of his leg, which they think is leukemia cells growing there in his tissue. He doesn't want to be dealing with super-resistant leukemia. So next week Robert will be getting that biopsied, he will also be getting a bone marrow biopsy, a lumbar puncture, blood testing, echo cardiogram, and a special heart test(I'm forgetting the name of it). Robert had some heart damage in the ICU, which has looked a lot better since. But, they want to make sure it will be strong enough for radiation.

I am requesting you fast with us this coming sunday for the results of all Robert's test to allow him to receive his transplant and be the best that they can. I am also hoping you will all pray with me until he gets all of these tests done. I know many of you pray for Robert everyday, but if you could include these test results it would be grately appreciated. I know they all make a difference. We are staying positive and hoping for the best. Thank you so much. All our love.

Off to Utah.

2009-06-03T20:12:00.000-07:00

Robert and Amanda when they were youngins. How cute is this?

Robert and I are heading back to Salt Lake City again early tomorrow morning. We are going to meet with Dr. Boyer so he can check Robert out, do some tests and make a game plan for Robert's treatment. Amanda is also coming along, so they can do some tests on her as well to make sure she is healthy to be Robert's donor again. I will update you with all the news! As always, thank you for your prayers, your love, we are so grateful. All our love.

Lazy Sunday.

2009-05-31T21:57:00.000-07:00

Robert is doing well this evening. He is chowing down on some artichokes right next to me on the couch. It's always a good thing when he is eating, and he has been doing it more often. He just can't eat a lot in one sitting. So I got him LOTS of butter to dip those artichokes in. Every bit counts, right? Every calorie I can sneak in there, I do.
Robert did a lot of this last week. He is getting platelets and hydration tomorrow, so there will be more of this tomorrow. We are hoping that he wont have as much of it this week though, more time to hang out at home would be fabulous. So hopefully his numbers will come up and stay up. We are going to Utah sometime this soon, possibly the end of this week, so the Docs there can see Robert, do some tests and figure out what will be the best plan for Robert. As for now we are just letting him get the rest he needs and trying to fatten him up. I am loving every minute of it. I love him. He is the greatest. We love you all.

Puppy love.

2009-05-29T09:28:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! Sorry it has been a few days. With new babies and us getting settled in and all, it's been a bit busy.Things are going well. Robert and I are glad to be home, even though we still have a lot of appointments and things going on. We are at a clinic and he is getting blood as I type this. 3 bags of blood, so we will be here a while. I really love blood donors. They have literally helped save Robert's life numerous times. So all you blood donors... I love you. Really, really love you. You are my heroes.
Isn't Daisy adorable? She was so excited to have Robert back around. Oh how she loves Robert. She loves me too, of course, but with her and Robert it's different. They have a bond. Maybe because Robert wanted her all along, I kind of had to be talked into it a bit, I really think dog's know that kind of stuff. Either way, we love having her in our little family. She is so fun. We will really miss her while we're in Utah.
Robert's numbers have been a little low since he got our of the hospital. Which is why he is getting blood today. He still gets worn out easily and tired, but his energy is slowly improving each day and moving around is getting easier. His appetite has been a lot better. He lost about 10 pounds this last hospital visit, pounds that he needs. He weighs about the same as me right now. Honestly. So we are trying to pack on the pounds before his transplant. Things are coming together for his transplant, we are hoping he will be getting it in about 3 weeks, maybe a little less. He re-did his echo-cardiogram yesterday and they gave him a pass. Yay! His heart is good to go. He still needs a lumbar puncture, but they can't do that until his platelet count is above 100. It is around 30 right now. They will do a lumbar puncture to see if there are any leukemia cells hanging out in his spinal fluid.

Things are going well, it's been so nice to sleep in our own bed and get away from hospital food(Sighs with enjoyment at the thought). We wish we didn't have so many appointments, but we know it's better than being in the hospital, so we are just grateful! Thank you for the prayers, concern, love. All of it. We love you all.

Home Sweet Home!

2009-05-24T22:37:00.000-07:00

Robdob and Ashpants were heard yelling at the top of their lungs, "LET'S BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND!" as they drove away from the hospital last night! Just when they were sure they would be in the hospital over the weekend they got the wonderful news--they were free at last!!! Robdob had the 'good health stamp of approval' from all the necessary doctors to head home!

HOORAH! HALLELUJAH! GLORY, GLORY HALLELUJAH! WAHOOOO! YAHOOOO! (I think you get the point! :)

Dad and Steve took the sacrament to Robert and Ashley tonight. Mom and I tagged along and brought Josie to meet her Super Uncle! (If only I'd taken the camera!) Robert was amazed at how small she is--in comparison to her long, chubby sister Taryn (she was 9lbs 4 oz and 21.5"). He said to Steve, "Taryn could have eaten this little one!" I thought that was funny!

Robert was in good spirits, and so was Ashley. They had the best night of sleep that they'd had in a long time in their own bed last night. Robert even prefers his couch to his hospital bed. Ashley is excited to have Robert home to cook up all his favorite foods to fatten him up, and there is more motivation for him to be up and about. He needs muscle strength as well as good food, and Ashley thinks those two things will happen better at home!

Robert's only complaint tonight is that his feet still hurt. His circulation in the ICU wasn't the best, especially right after his blood pressure dropped. His feet still get a little achy and feel weird sometimes. Karalee was coming over tonight to massage them for him--she is the family massage therapist! Everything else is as good as can be expected! Robert is very bald, thin, and peeling. The rash he got from his antibiotics has made his skin peel. He says he feels like a snake--shedding a whole layer! You could tell that he still tires very easily, even just speaking. He has come a long way since the ICU! So he continues his fight! He definitely won this battle! And that is why we call him . . .

RobDob The Luekemia Slaying Super Hero!

Just add milk.

2009-05-21T21:54:00.000-07:00

So, RobDob has been loving Trix cereal here at the hospital. He eats it for breakfast every morning, and for the last couple of days, he orders them for lunch as well. The nurses get a kick out of it. The first time he got it for lunch they looked a little confused when they brought his tray in, and asked if he had ordered them, thinking it was a mistake. Even his General Doc came in when he was eating them, laughed, and said "Trix are for kids!" He is awesome. I can't complain at all, because really, hospital food is nasty(don't let anyone tell you different. If they do, they are lying). So I enthusiastically encourage anything that sounds the least bit delicious to him. Bring on the Trix.
Robert continues to improve everyday. It is getting easier for him to walk, and get around by himself, although walking the shortest distances even wipes him out. His white count is 5.7 today. Which is good. Usually by this time it would be quite a bit higher, but with everything his body has been through it has taken a bit longer this time. Robert's results from his gall bladder ultrasound was normal, which rocks. His liver has been improving slowly, and he is off his IV nutrition. YAY! So he has been slowly eating a little bit more since coming off of it. We are hoping to be able to go home tomorrow. Dr. Gollard said it was a possibility, but he wants to see what his platelet count is tomorrow, to see if it can hold it's own, since he has been getting platelet transfusions almost daily. Platelets are the last of the blood counts to recover after chemotherapy, it just takes them a little bit longer. So if they hold their own, and Robert is doing well, tomorrow might be the day! It marks our 5th week being here this hospital stay. So it's safe to say that we are both welcoming the a-okay to get out of this joint! The thing I most look forward to: sleeping in my own bed, and I think Robert would concur. Dr. Gollard is in cahoots with the Huntsman, figuring out the plan for RobDob. So I will let you all know what I hear in the next week or so.

Thank you again for the prayers, the love, the blessings! I know I say it often, and I will continue to, because I am so grateful. All our love.

Another baby!

2009-05-18T09:28:00.000-07:00

Janelle had her baby girl on Saturday night. So I get to grace you all with my blogging presence once more.(Excitement!) Janelle started laboring an hour into Robert's Luau fundraiser, and approximately one hour and ten minutes later she had her baby! It was quick, no one could quite believe it. I thought Steve(Janelle's husband) was teasing me when he text me letting me know I had a new niece. I had talked to Janelle only an hour earlier and she had let me know her contractions had started, so you can understand my surprise. But, boy oh boy, she is a cutie!

Josephine Claire Gratteau
7 lbs. 12 0z.
20 1/2 inches

I've decided that Josephine was so excited to be feeling all of the love at Robert's fundraiser, that she decided she also wanted to join the party. What a fun, memorable night! Full of miracles and hope.

Janelle and Josephine.
(Lookin' pretty hot for just having given birth Janelle, if I do say so myself. Hot mama.)

This picture was taken the very first time Robert was in the hospital, back in November, 2007.( I have the hottest husband ever, just throwing that out there.)

Robert has been doing better, his counts made the big jump we have been waiting for over the weekend, they went from .8 to 1.7 as of yesterday and today they were at 2.0, it's a beautiful thing. He was taken off a lot of his antibiotics today, which is very good, because one of them has been giving him a nasty rash all over his body. He has been getting stronger, he can walk by himself, but with someone right by him in case he needs someone to lean on. He has been bummed about being so weak. This is the weakest he has ever been, but he will bounce back quick, he already is starting to. Robert is still on his IV nutrition, but we are hoping his docs will start weening him off it tomorrow(crosses fingers). He has been eating a little better, of course it takes some forcing, but whatever it takes! It's all out of love.

Thank you to everyone who went to Robert's fundraiser. We hope you enjoyed yourselves! We're sorry to have missed it. Thank you for the continual prayers. All our love.

Just give me a beach.

2009-05-15T21:24:00.001-07:00

Robert has been much more aware and alert since we were moved out of the ICU. The transition has been difficult for him emotionally. He told me he really doesn't remember too much about being in the ICU, and he had no idea he was there for 2 weeks. He thought at the most it had been a week. He was so out of it most of the time, and now that he is really coming around a lot more, I think it must be strange to have 2 weeks of your life gone by, and be feeling the way he is physically. He is really deconditioned, but Dr. Gollard said that it should get better and better everyday, and he is. Yesterday was an especially trying day for Robert, he just wants to go home, and is feeling very ready to be done. And I can't say I blame him one bit. He told me yesterday how he just wants to go visit all of the beautiful beaches he has been to in his life with me. And the idea sounds wonderful to me. Robert served a mission for our church in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, and also in the Bahamas, so he has seen some beautiful beaches. I can't wait to get to see them all with him someday. I know it's in our future.
About 2 weeks before Robert and I found out his leukemia had come back in February, my parents invited us to spend a weekend with them in Newport Beach, California. We are so glad now that we got to have a mini vacation before everything. It was so nice to relax on the beach and get to spend some quality time together. I can't wait until we get to do it again! Really, I don't care what beach it is, as long as Robert is right along with me (and our spiffy beach towels with our names on them. I know you're jealous ;).

Robert's white blood count is .7 today. So it is making slow, but steady progress. We are hoping it makes a big jump any day now. Robert got an ultrasound of his gallbladder today, while he was in the ICU they thought it might have a problem, so they are doing testing to see what is going on with it. (I'll keep you posted on that). He is still jaundiced from his liver functioning being low, but the Docs are thinking as soon as Robert is off his TPN(IV nutrition), that should really help. So, he is doing well, improving slowly, but it is a wonderful thing.

I can't say how grateful I am to all of you who continually pray for us, read this, and especially being willing to help us financially with your donations. You are blessing our lives so abundantly, and we are both incredibly thankful for everything. You all inspire me daily. Please keep praying for Robert's speedy recovery. All our love.

Come What May . . . And Love It!

2009-05-13T12:17:00.000-07:00

Ashley and I had a great chat this morning. She and Robert moved to the third floor at 1:00 this morning. So technically last night, while I was sleeping any way! Ashley was just so excited to sleep in past 5:45 and to not get kicked out of Robert's room. We were chatting when she was on her way home to shower and get ready to attend a session at the temple. I could tell she felt great! I'm sure getting your adorable hubby out of the ICU would do that to a person!

We really enjoyed talking about life, its unexpected twists and turns and the things they teach us. I realized as we were talking that every experience in our life has a purpose. To learn and see that purpose is to witness and create a miracle in your life. Ashley has seen some of those miracles for herself and Robert. She also holds a great hope that their experience will bless others. She said, "I don't wish for anyone else to have to go through this, but I hope that as other couples watch us do so, they will hold each other a little tighter and not take each other for granted."

That is only one of the many lessons I personally have learned watching Robert and Ashley through this experience. Today she reminded me to look for and understand the purpose in my own trials and hard times so that I can witness my own little miracles!

Ashley also shared that along with the beautiful words to 'their song' Come What May, she has found a deeper meaning to the message of these sweet words from this man:

Joseph B. Wirthlin

He was one of the members of our Quorom of the Twelve Apostles until he passed away on December 2, 2008. I believe this is his last conference address.

You can watch a fabulous and touching video here or read the entire article here.

It is such a great message! Sorry the video isn't on the blog, try as I might I couldn't get it to embed! I hope you take the time to watch it, it is two minutes long. Ashley and Robert never cease to amaze me with the depths of their faith and optimism!

We all know that, Come What May, they will love each other till their dying days and beyond, because they were sealed for time and eternity in the temple.

Now we know that, Come What May, they will LOVE life no matter what it hands them!

*Robert is doing well today. He was awake more and talked more. He is off oxygen and keeping up his oxygen saturation numbers very well on his own. There is still a little fluid in his lungs, but it is getting better every day. He drank an entire Ensure and had about 15 bites of soup (from the Olive Garden) at one meal. His numbers remained at .5!!! His liver is working too hard right now to help him filter out all of the medications and pain meds he is on, and the IV nutrition can be hard on his liver too. So pray for his liver function to stabilize and for a big jump in his numbers tomorrow! With love and gratitude!

CELEBRATE!!!

2009-05-12T22:05:00.000-07:00

Good times! Come on! Celebration!

Robert's numbers are .5!!!

CELEBRATION!!

Robert is moving back up to the 3rd floor! You got it, he is busting out of the ICU!!!

CELEBRATION!!!

Go ahead and sing along!

As of 11:45pm they were cleaning another room, because the patient in the first room didn't go home like they thought! They are still moving tonight though! Everything else continues to look better all the time. He is eating more and more, and is being a good little superhero and drinking his ensure (which they spike with protien and high calorie add-ins, sneaky Ashpants and supermom!) Ashley said he is looking very thin, since his swelling is gone; so she's hoping to see him gain some weight soon!

All in all the best day Robdob's had in awhile, and a great reason for all of us to celebrate with him! Sweet success! Out of the ICU! White counts on the rise! Wahooo!

CELEBRATION!

Quote & Update!

2009-05-11T20:55:00.000-07:00

Ashley came across a quote that helped lift her spirits today. She shared it with me when I got the update from her. I knew it had to go on the blog tonight!

"When a train goes through a tunnel and gets dark, you don't throw away your ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer."

~Corrie ten Boom (author of The Hiding Place)

*Robert is doing well today. He still sleeps a lot, but is awake more. His numbers are still .3, and he got platelets today. He gets a chest x-ray every night at midnight, and they look more clear every day. His breathing is much better. This has allowed him to eat more. Today he had pudding and some chicken pot pie. He doesn't have a great appetite yet, so Ashley helps to convince him that eating and drinking Ensure is the cool and super thing to do! He only gets lasix as needed now, and he didn't need any today. He is getting rid of his excess fluids well on his own. All the prayers are helping! Thank you!

RSVP to PARTY!!!

2009-05-11T12:18:00.000-07:00

Click to enlarge (it will work this time :)

We are getting closer to our goal to have at least 150 people attend this event, but we're not quite there yet! So please RSVP to myself Janelle Gratteau (702) 457-4419 jandsgratteau@yahoo.com or Karalee Garber (702) 218-2322 karaleegarber@hotmail.com! We will add your names to the list for the guard gate. We are happy to have you pay upon arrival on Saturday.

If you can't attend please donate to Robert instead! To those who can't do either, just keep praying for him! The support and generosity of many has been amazing and touching!

Thank you!

DNA Sunday

2009-05-10T22:05:00.000-07:00

We would love to introduce to you tonight the last of the Squires' siblings to be featured on DNA Sunday! Last, but definitely not least! This is Elyssa Jean Squires! She is the sixth child in the family. She is very creative. She has always been artistic and loves writing. She is funny, sweet and outrageously exciting! She currently attends Brigham Young University Idaho (BYUi) and she writes and edits for the school newspaper there. Here is a little more about her in her own words:

What is your favorite color?

I like all colors. I am quite the colorful person. I particularly enjoy mustard yellow, pea green, and deep teal.

What makes you laugh?

My family, more than anything. Also people’s funny quirks/habits. I love when anyone marches to the beat of their own drum—it amuses and delights me!

If you had to live somewhere for the rest of your life, where would it be?

Anywhere my family was! Or maybe Seattle. LOVE that city.

Describe yourself in one word.

I’m taking the liberty of two: TOTAL SASS.

What is your favorite possession?

My favorite possession is the ukulele I recently inherited from my Grandma Bev. It was handmade in Hawaii and it is GORGEOUS and sounds amazing, too! It would be followed closely by my journals and my cello.

What is your passion?

My passion is beauty. Making life more beautiful, and more worth living. Finding beauty where I don’t expect it. That is a lot of why I have such a creative drive. It is also why I think relationships are so amazing and important, because they bring meaning and beauty to life.

What surprises you most about your life so far?

What surprises me most is how fast it has gone. I remember being eight and truly thinking that I would never be old enough to be in high school. Now high school has come and gone. I think I am always surprised to realize how much of my life is behind me (and I’m only 19!).

Favorite holiday?

Halloween. This may surprise my family, but the other holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, I have to share my siblings with their in-laws, and I always miss them! But we almost always get together and have a party on Halloween, and show off our awesome costumes.

Worst habit?

Second guessing myself.

Favorite dinner/food?

Barbecue chicken pizza and raspberries. Always!

Favorite dessert/sweet?

Hmmm ice cream ice cream ice cream. And anything I bake. Things always taste the best when you bake them yourself.

Favorite book?

So many! I really love Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, Extremely Loud and Incredible Close by Jonathan Safran Foer, and The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak.

If I knew then what I know now?

Then what would be the point of living and finding it out?

The nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?

I always feel so blessed and loved to know that my family is praying for me.

Something no one knows about you?

I have over 50 moles on my body.

Quality you like most about yourself?

I like that I am passionate about things. I love that I care so much; I could never stand being an apathetic or indifferent person.

Biggest waste of time?

Sleeping. Why do we have to do this?

Most happy when?

I am surrounded by family, when I am making something that is beautiful/good, when I am making someone else happy, when I am reading something good.

Most embarrassing moment?

Only every day of my life.

Thank you Elyssa!

*Robert's numbers are up to .3 today!!! Dr. Gollard thinks that it is possible that because Robert's blood pressure got so low when he was admitted to the ICU that his blood was directed to his vital organs and away from his bone marrow, causing the drop in his count--and keeping it low for so long. The good news is that they think his numbers will only keep going up from here.

Robdob is getting the pressure to eat from the nurses and doctors. They would like to get him off IV nutrition soon. He is drinking his Ensure well, but it is still a little difficult to eat (he gets a little cranky when eating under pressure!) Ashpants says he is eating better, and it keeps getting easier!

Everything else keeps improving. They may allow him to leave his room for more tests soon if his numbers keep climbing, so we will keep you posted when we know more!

What's in a Name?

2009-05-09T23:46:00.000-07:00

Well Robert was named after his paternal grandfather Robert Ashworth and his middle name is Kenneth, after his dad Ken. Ashley Ann was named after her maternal grandmother Beverly Ann, and because our parents really liked Ashley!

Here though I'm really wondering. . . What's in a nickname?

Robdob: When Robert was quite young his Aunt Deborah started calling him Robdob. Deborah passed away when Robert was still young, and the nickname stuck. Deborah is Ken's sister and he calls Robert Robdob more than anyone else to this day!

I'm sure Aunt Deborah had no idea that she was creating Robert's superhero alias all those years ago. Robdob is to Robert Ashworth as Superman is to Clark Kent! It is Robdob who has all the super leukemia slaying powers you know!

Ashpants: When Ashley lived in Arizona and worked at our Aunt Tammy's montessori school she got the chance to hang out with the cousins a lot. Dallin and Mandy Chase and Trevor Whiting in particular. The story goes that Dallin just stuck pants on the end of Ash one night while they were hanging out, and all three of them agreed that they went together really well. Next thing you know "Ashpants calling" appeared on the screen whenever she called any of their cell phones. The name spread and stuck, creating the superhero alias for Ashley.

And it is Ashpants who has the hot red boots and all the super supportive powers and faith in Robdob powers.

So there you have it; the story of the nicknames! We would just like to thank those who helped to create these superheroes with their fabulous, heroic names! Who knew there could be such POWER in a nickname?

P.S. Speaking of names, Brandon and Chelsa named their little guy. . .

Griffin John Squires!

*Robert is doing well today. He continues to remain the same or steadily improve in all areas! His breathing continues to improve, allowing him to eat an extra bite every time he orders a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. His appetite is improving! He is done with his lasix today and his swelling has gone down significantly! His count is at .2 and Dr. Gollard expects it to continue to rise at this point! They did another bone marrow biopsy and Dr. G. asked to have four more markers checked this time. It appears that some of Amanda's bone marrow has hung around and is putting up a good fight. This could be part of the reason that it is taking his numbers so much longer to come up this time. That is a great sign for the next bone marrow transplant! Keep up the good fight Robdob!

Visitors!

2009-05-08T00:06:00.000-07:00

No, not that kind of visitor. Check him out though, he's a hippie alien! Peace dude! (Pardon me it's late and I'm a little tired, which = silly/cheesy :)

Robert has been much more awake and aware. However, he keeps asking Ashley if certain people are there.

Robert: "Ashley, who's here?"

Ashley: "No one, it's just us!"

R: "Steve (my dad, mom, Ryan, Superman, Wolverine, Yoda--ok I made up the last 3) isn't here? I think I heard him."

A: "Nope, it's just you and me."

R: "Oh, is he coming later?"

A: "Would you like _____ to visit later?"

R: "Yeah."

A: "Ok, I'll see what I can do."

Ashley gets a bit of a chuckle out of these conversations. I asked if Steve could/should come visit. Ashley said the problem there is you can never guess when he'll have his coherent/awake moments, and she hates to have someone come over just to sit on the couch with her and watch him sleep.

Now that he is awake more Ashley spends less time away from the hospital in the mornings. Robert gets anxious when he wakes up and no one is in his room. His breathing is still improving. He even had a bit of an appetite, he asked for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (which we think is funny, because if he even smelled peanut butter after his last round of chemo it would make him sick!). He was only able to eat two or three bites--wore him right out! But he ate 2-3 bites!! Ashley thinks as his breathing improves it will get even easier to eat!

Robert is on lasix two times a day until tomorrow. His swelling has gone down. Unfortunately, so have his numbers, they're back at .1! They are really yo-yoing this time! His body is fighting a lot of battles! He just has to beat one opponent at a time! Lets all keep praying for Robert! Together we can pray him right out of the ICU! That would be awesome!

Go, Fight, Win!

2009-05-06T13:10:00.001-07:00

I'm getting this update in early, since there wasn't one yesterday! Life is busy, and there hasn't been as much to share. That is a good thing--it means progress! When I talked to Ashley just now, I could hear Robert in the background. He is easier to understand, and it is more comfortable for him to speak. His breathing is less labored, too. While he still tires easily and doesn't hold long conversations, he is less frustrated by communicating. Ashley says she is getting better at understanding him and is his 'translator' when the nurses aren't sure what he is saying.

His numbers are hanging out at .2 They are still giving him lasix (apparently he has been on it for at least 3 days) to help him pee--he needs a little extra help to get rid of the extra fluid in his body. Ashley says he looks chubbier than he has in a long while, but it is because he has some swelling in his arms and legs. He still has some fluid from them bringing up his blood pressure, but at this point, most of it is from being on IV nutrition and fluids and not getting out of bed at all.

They are running more tests on his e-coli, this takes a little while. Right now--no news is good news. Ashley is so happy to have him more alert and aware, and communicating with her more. We expect him to just keep improving. Robdob is a fighter! He is putting up the good fight and winning this round!

A reminder about the Luau Fundraiser:

Click on the Luau Fundraiser link above to see a full size version of flyer!

We have extended the RSVP date until Monday, May 11th. Our goal is for 300 people to attend or donate whatever they can, although we have not yet hit the minimum of 100 needed to attend the dinner for catering, etc. So, please let us know soon if you can make it. We would love to eat incredibly delicious food and party with you as we celebrate Robert's current and future successes! The financial support they will receive from fundraisers such as this greatly ease the burden of Robert's illness and its attending medical bills. Thank you for all the love and support!

Just Upstairs. . .

2009-05-04T18:23:00.000-07:00

On the third floor in the maternity wing of the very same hospital in which they currently reside, Robdob and Ashpants got a new nephew last night. Early this morning, actually. Ashley's brother, Brandon, and his wife, Chelsa, had their first baby, a little boy. . . who is yet to be named! (Some of we Squires take our time naming our little ones.)

He was born at 4:42 am. He is 18 inches long and weighed in at 6lbs lloz ! He couldn't be any cuter, even if he tried really hard!

Ashley, Chelsa, Baby Boy Squires and Brandon!

Ashley has enjoyed having family so close and has admired the new little guy at least three times today! I think she enjoyed being the one to stop and pick up lunch to take to them in the hospital. It has been great to have something so wonderful to celebrate in the same hospital in which our heroic Robdob is fighting his battle. So today we celebrate new life, heroism and looking forward to the day when the beaming new parents in the picture are Robdob and Ashpants!

*Robert is doing pretty well. His numbers are .2 today. His oxygen levels are holding well, but his breathing has been a little labored today, so if his numbers are up more tomorrow the doctors would like to drain some fluid from his lungs. They would also like to take him and run their scans on him. His antibiotics are kicking e-coli's butt! He has been awake more today than even yesterday. He is holding steady or improving in every arena he is currently fighting in! Way to go Robdob!!!

Pictures & Update!

2009-05-03T21:38:00.001-07:00

Tonight I took dinner to the hospital for Ashley during the time she couldn't be in Robert's room. Before you think I'm a saint, you should know that Karalee did all of the cooking and baking. I really need to get her chicken curry recipe! Our mom has been out of town, so Dad, Mom and Brittany stopped by the hospital for a visit on their way home from picking mom up from the airport! Lucky you, I had my camera with me so here are a few shots!

This picture is the motivation for taking my camera to the hospital in the first place. Ever since they discovered that the E-coli strain Robert has is antibiotic resistant this is what Ashley wears the ENTIRE time she is in Robert's room! She even sleeps in this hot get-up! Now we know why Robert was requesting snuggles today--who could resist this? Everyone, including nurses must gown up before entering Robert's room. I thought it might be fun/interesting to see a little glimpse of Ashley's life in the hospital right now.

You put the mask on outside the door and the gown on right inside the door. Then you wash your hands and sanitize them. You can only touch Robert if you have gloves on. I threw this picture in, because Ashley got such a good chuckle out of seeing me in this amazing yellow gown--figured a laugh might be a good thing for a post about Robert. The gowns and masks are for mutual protection of Robert, visitors, and to be sure that you don't take anything (e-coli) with you when you leave his room either.

Brittany, Dad, Ashley and Mom! We had a great time visiting together tonight!

Janelle, Ashley and mom.

Sorry, no pictures of Robert. Ashley doesn't really want to document his ICU experience with photographs. Can't say that I blame her. He doesn't look like himself.

Robert is doing better today. His neutrophil numbers remain at .1 He is maintaining his blood pressure very well on his own. He is on oxygen still, but is breathing better/more easily. He is responding well to the new medication that they have him on to take down the E-coli.

He has been awake more today and is more coherent. He hasn't spoken for awhile, and breathes through his mouth a lot. This makes it difficult to understand him when he speaks--he gets a little frustrated when people aren't understanding him. He still says some funny 'on drugs and meds' kinds of things too.

He told Ashley, "I need some snuggles!"

Ashley: "Robert, I'm not allowed to get in your bed in the ICU. I can't snuggle you. But I can touch you and rub you. Will that be okay?"

Robert: "Oh, okay."

Ashley knows he is feeling a little better when he wants enough physical contact to ask for snuggles. Ashley was feeling really positive and happy tonight. She was happy with Robert's improvements today. She is doing well also. Getting a little more rest! Hoping he is out of the ICU soon, so she can get even more!

Thank you again for the prayers and fasting on their behalf. Ashley has felt so blessed and lifted since Thursday! Good night! Loves!

Medical Update!

2009-05-03T00:58:00.001-07:00

Loving on Daisy!

Sorry I am posting this so late for the day! Robert is doing about the same today as yesterday. The doctors talked about doing a couple of scans on him, but his white blood cell count dropped back down to .1 (Ashley says it is normal after chemo for it to yo-yo a bit before starting the steady climb up). They want to check out his organs, and be sure that they all look good, but they won't take him out of his room for any testing until his numbers come up a little.

Robert's chest x-ray came back, at least we finally got the news from it. There is still some fluid in his lungs, but it is less than the first x-ray--they are improving! He will remain on oxygen for now.

They took Robert off of his blood pressure medication today, and he has been keeping it up very well on his own.

Ashley says he has been waking up a little more often late in the day today, and seems to be a little more coherent. While he is sleeping--different story! He has been saying some funny things in his sleep again.

Robert: "Robdob."

Ashley: "What Robert?"

Robert: "My nickname is Robdob!"

Ashley: "Yes it is!"

Robert: "Rhino!"

Ashley: "That is Ryan's nickname."

Robert: "Yeah, Ryan's nickname." Then nothing, back out cold.

Later Robert was mumbling and going on about Daisy. Ashley couldn't catch it all, but then he definitely called her, "Daisy!" We figure talking, even in his sleep, is a great sign!

I'll update much earlier in the day tomorrow! I promise! :)

E-coli update!

2009-05-01T14:51:00.000-07:00

Just heard from Ashley that the nasty e-coli strain that Robert has decided to get out his bazooka and play dirty! It is an antibiotic resistant strain of e-coli! So the doctors are fighting back with a new Super antibiotic! Other than that she says he is stable.

Fundraising Luau & Update!

2009-05-01T09:42:00.001-07:00

Click on flyer to enlarge!

We are so excited to be hosting this luau in honor of Robert, and to raise money for his bone marrow transplant! We are hoping to have 300 people attend this event! It should be a lot of fun. So sign up, email and call to let us know you'll be there! Thank you to everyone for their love and support of Robert and Ashley!

*Robert is about the same today. He is still receiving blood pressure medication and is on an oxygen mask. (We are still waiting to hear the results of his chest x-ray, I'll post as soon as we know.) He hasn't needed to be on a ventilator, so that is good! His blood count remains at .3 and he is receiving a lot of blood products (platelets, etc.). The doctors say that he is responding well to the IV antibiotics that he has been given to fight the nasty E-coli! He is also receiving IV nutrition again today.

The first two nights Robert was in the ICU the charge nurse on the floor was super cool and let Ashley spend the night in Robert's room. The third night (Wednesday) there was a new charge nurse who would not let Ashley sleep in Robert's room, so she slept in the waiting room--she said it was worth it for one night, because she was able to check in on him twice. Last night she was able to get permission to stay in his room again, and we are hoping that holds as long as he is in the ICU. It was a good thing Ashley was there, because Robert kept trying to get up. He was very restless. He kept taking his oxygen mask off and telling Ashley that he needed to get up to use the bathroom. Each time Ashley would hold Robert in bed, ring his night nurse and they would calm him down and convince him that he should stay in bed. We aren't doctors or nurses, but we are taking Robert wanting to get up and his talking as a good sign. Ashley said he was a little fiesty proclaiming, "I can walk!" This was his response to Ashley telling him that he was on too many medications and he didn't have the strength to walk. Robert fiesty? Sounds more like the Robert I know!

I asked Ashley if she was exhausted. She said that she is very tired, but she knows she is sustained by God, we refer to him as Heavenly Father, and your prayers. No matter how tired she is when Robert needs her, day or night, it has been easy for her to get right up and help him. Like last night, getting up those many times, she said she never felt tired while she was taking care of Robert. Ashley is not allowed to be on the ICU floor (no one besides patients and hospital staff are) from 6:30-8:00 in the morning and at night. This is when the doctors and nurses do their rounds. Ashley leaves the hospital around 6:00 am. and takes a two hour nap in her own bed, showers and returns to the hospital. At night someone from the Squires or Ashworth family meets Ashley near the hospital to hang out with her and have dinner! It makes it easier for her to be away from Robert when she knows he is alone!

A special thank you.

2009-04-30T21:42:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to personally thank all those who have been praying and fasting for Robert and myself. I have felt the power of both today, and I am sure Robert has as well. Thank you so much for the love and support at this time. It means so much to know people love us and care about us so much. Please continue the prayers for Robert. He is the most resilient person I know, he will make it through this. I am so grateful for all of you.
All our love.

The lowdown

2009-04-30T14:29:00.000-07:00

I spoke to Ashley around 1:00 this afternoon and this is what she told me that they know so far. The doctors think that both the infection in his blood and his colitis are being caused by E.Coli (nasty dude!) The good news is that Robert is responding to the antibiotics to take care of Mr.E. He is still on oxygen currently, but they x-rayed his lungs this morning and we are waiting to hear the results for those. They are also giving him IV nutrition today. Thank you to everyone who is fasting today, and for all of the continued support, love, and prayers.

Thursday Fast Request

2009-04-29T16:56:00.000-07:00

Robert and Ashley just one year ago!

Ashley has asked that people join together in a fast for Robert tomorrow Thursday April, 30th. For those of you who may not know we are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also referred to as Mormons. If you would like to know more about fasting please go here.

Robert is still in the ICU today. His kidneys are functioning well again, and they have managed to keep his temperature down and his blood pressure up. Doctors have also discovered the source of his fever. He has a bacterial infection in his blood, this is a difficult thing for him because he is neutropenic and doesn't have the immune system necessary to fight it off on his own. They have him on antibiotics to help him fight his infection.

The other complication that Robert is dealing with right now is fluid in his lungs. On Monday night (late) Robert's blood pressure started dropping. They believe it was because he had such a high fever all day and he became dehydrated. To bring his blood pressure back up they had to give Robert lots and lots of fluids. This did work to bring his blood pressure up, but some of the fluids got into his lungs. Currently Robert is on an oxygen mask all the time, to be sure that he is absorbing enough oxygen through his lungs. If at any point he is not getting enough oxygen they may have to put him on a ventilator, to help his lungs take in enough oxygen.

Robert also received steroids today that will specifically help to stimulate his adrenal system. Because Robert has been fighting infections and on antibiotics for so long (C-diff and colitis before he even went into the hospital for this round of chemo) his adrenal system isn't working the way it should. This happens to people who fight infections for such a long period of time.

Looks like this week will be a medical update week! They anticipate that Robert will remain in the ICU for the next 3-4 days.

Robert doesn't talk much at all right now. It is too much work for him to speak. He sleeps or is 'out of it' most of the time due to all the drugs and pain meds he is on. His body is using all of its energy fighting right now. The good news is that his white blood cell count or 'numbers' are beginning to come up. Today he is at .3 up from the previous .1! We hope they come up quickly and help him fight off this infection.

Please continue your prayers for Robert and Ashley! Ashley continues to be so amazing as Robert's wife and caregiver. She has such faith in his recovery! Join your faith with ours and fast with us tomorrow if you are able.

Much gratitude and love,

Janelle

Prayer Request

2009-04-28T15:09:00.000-07:00

Robert was admitted to the ICU last night. His fever kept going up yesterday, and he started throwing up. Those are sure signs of an infection. When his night nurse came on his temperature had reached 103 degrees. She was unable to get it down with medication. His blood pressure dropped, so he was taken to the ICU. They have managed to control his temperature and bring his blood pressure back up.

When his blood pressure dropped all of his blood was going to his heart and brain, which left his kidneys with less than the desired amount of blood. Now his kidneys are struggling a bit, so he will stay in the ICU to be monitored for now. They need to make sure he is cleaning his body out well, peeing normally and all that good stuff.

Robdob is feeling pretty crummy so he has called in Yoda--you know to help with the Jedi-mind healing, Wolverine (he can go microscopic in Robdob's body to fight infection) and the Incredible Hulk (not sure exactly what his helpful skills are--keep you posted on that)! Along with all the BIG GUNS and SUPERHEROES we are requesting PRAYERS! Thank you for those! Ashley and Robert truly feel the power of prayer!

DNA Sunday

2009-04-26T18:15:00.000-07:00

Ryan is a super cute and goofy kid, which makes him super cute and goofy in his pictures!

He gets two pictures to show off his handsome mug, for the cute and the goofy!

Ryan Ashworth is the fourth child and middle boy. He has followed in Robert's footsteps with baseball and is a talented player on the Las Vegas High School team. He is funny and crazy. His sisters say he finds way too much enjoyment in torturing them! :) He is 16 years old and watch out he has his drivers permit and cannot wait to get his license! Here is what he has to say:

What is your favorite color?

Green

What makes you laugh?

When I fart by people. (Such a boy!)

If you had to live somewhere for the rest of you life, where would it be?

Not at my house (I think he copied Alycia's answer :)

Which is a better pet? Dog or cat?

Both are good in their own way.

Describe yourself in one word?

Lazy

What is your favorite posssession?

My Xbox 360 (I lose it to Robert a lot!)

I think Ryan is pretty generous to share his Xbox with Robert when he is in the hospital!

What surprises you about your life so far?

My brother.

Favorite holiday?

All day with my Xbox Day!

Worst habit?

Video games

What is something you are really good at?

Baseball

Something no one knows about you?

I pick my nose.

Quality you like most about yourself?

That I am really good at math.

Most happy when?

I am home alone.

Most embarrasing moment?

There are a whole lot of them!

Thanks Ryan!

*Robert is still feeling the crummies. He has mucuositis in his throat--the chemo kills all cells, the fastest growing cells first--including the mucous cells in his throat. The lining of his throat and esophogus cells aren't able to reproduce, so it has allowed Robert to get sores in the back of his throat. This makes it even harder for him to swallow and eat. That made him feel extra crummy this morning, but he is feeling better this afternoon. This problem will go away as his blood cell count numbers come back up. His neutrophil count is .1, so he is still neutropenic. This is the lowest he has been so far, and as low as he can go! There is only up from here! They are hoping his numbers start coming back up in the next five days or so. In the meantime he is sleeping a lot. He has gone within, to practice his health regeneration Jedi mind tricks! Awesome!

Come What May

2009-04-24T09:29:00.001-07:00

Here are the absolutely adorable Robdob and Ashpants on their wedding day!

I've never known any couple to have more kissing pictures than these two! Never leaves any doubt how they feel about each other, and this picture is wedding, red-hot!

Well the story here is that Ashley is a bit of a movie buff! And when she loves a movie, she really loves it! One movie that she fell in love with was Moulin Rouge--and it's sound track. The song, "Come What May" in particular. So it was no surprise that she chose that song to be sung at her wedding for the first dance by these two adorable people . . .

Brittany Squires, Ashley's baby sister and Sterling Chase, Ashley's cousin! They were amazing as they sang the following lyrics:

Never knew I could feel like this

Like I've never seen the sky before

Want to vanish inside your kiss

Everyday I love you more and more

Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings

Telling me to give you everything

Seasons may change winter to spring

But I love you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may

I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace

Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste

It all revolves around you

And there's no mountain too high no river too wide

Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side

Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide

But I love you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may

I will love you until my dying day

Oh come what may, come what may

I will love you

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place...

Come what may, come what may

I will love you until my dying day

Here, of course, are the bride and groom enjoying their first dance as a married couple!

They had no idea on that beautiful day how those lyrics would play into their life. That 'come what may' included leukemia and fighting as a true Super Hero Couple! Their love and strength through this ordeal has been truly inspiring!

Just reading the lyrics wasn't the same for me, so I found this video to post. Not the best sound quality, but a good basic song presentation! I hope you enjoy it! I might reccomend grabbing a tissue or two--maybe I just needed them because I am prego and hormonal.
I think it is more because the story playing out in Robert's and Ashley's lives is so touching. It is real, and sometimes raw, and it reminds me daily to love my husband and family all the time, every day! Come what may!

*Robert is still as healthy as can be expected! Still feeling crummy too! No complications with anything though! He is eating pretty well still, Ashpant is pleased! He has been doing his laps aroung the third floor everyday!

Dollop of Daisy

2009-04-23T20:14:00.000-07:00

We welcome Amanda (aka. Bone Marrow Stem Cell Donor Extraordinaire) Ashworth as a guest author on the blog tonight. She shares a little about Robdob and Ashpants superdog Daisy, who is living with the Ashworth Family for now!

Daisy is a fun, loving Italian Grey Hound. She loves her owners very much and you can tell by the way she reacts when Ashley and Robert walk through the door. Daisy is definitely a sick person dog. She always without a doubt knows you are sick and comes running to you to comfort you. It doesn't matter if you have a little cough or a huge cold she will follow you around and lay with you till you are better.
When Robert and Ashley first adopted Daisy she was so tiny she could go under the couches. When you run away from her and go on the other side of the couch she would cheat and disappear under the couch and get you from the other side. When you would run after her she would yet again disappear under the couch so you couldn't get her.
Daisy was taught not to bite when she plays with people, but one day one of the siblings were playing with her and she started to bite them. As they were playing, she would bite down harder and harder and then sibling said "Ouch," and she stopped and licked the ouchie better. She was taught well by her owners!
Daisy misses Robert and Ashley so much. You can tell by the way she follows them to the door when they leave. When she realizes she isnt going home with them her head is lowered. Daisy is very loved and we are happy that Robert has her to help him through this life changing experience.

When Daisy was little she would curl up on Robert's shoulder while he played video games! It is easy to see that Robert loves having her around too! (11/02/08)

*Robert is feeling much the same today as yesterday! This part can be difficult for him, gets him down a little to feel gross, again! Only two weeks in the hospital left! Hopefully these pictures will cheer him up! He is staying healthy, other than the blahs, headache and discomfort! Yeah for that!

Here come the Yuckies!

2009-04-21T23:29:00.000-07:00

Robert started feeling the effects of chemo today! He is feeling a little gross, and upon further questioning that means that his joints are achy, he has a headache and he basically just feels blah! That said he is eating more than he was at the same point last time! Ashpants is always pushing for more super food consumption, but is happy with the current quantities that are being ingested.

They like Robert to walk at least one lap around his hospital floor everyday--helps keep his appetite up and its always good to get the body moving! Unfortunately when Robdob feels gross he wants to retire his super boots until he feels better! Well this time around Ashpants devised a clever plan. You remember the green pee container, right? Well that is a bedpan urinal! Robdob likes to use those sometimes so he doesn't always have to get out of bed! Ashpants plan: everyday that Robert walks at least one lap, she'll bring the pee pan to him! No lap--walk yourself to the toilet buddy! I thought that was pretty funny!

Oh the things we talk about during chemotherapy that would never be appropriate in normal conversation! :)

P.S. Robert & Ashley's nephew is going into surgery tomorrow Wednesday April 22 at 10:30 AM. Karalee Garber's son Elijah is having his cleft palate repaired! Please remember them in your prayers as well. If you want more information on him go here tomorrow afternoon!

DNA Sunday

2009-04-19T21:20:00.000-07:00

Anjelica Ashworth is the youngest girl in the family! She is thirteen and tons of fun! She likes babysitting and hanging out with family and friends. She always has a big smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye! Well, I will have Anjelica finish up her intro in her own words (as she wrote them at the top of her questionnaire). Anjelica (Robert's favorite sister) Ashworth! Here is what Anjelica has to say:

What is your passion?

Animals

Favorite holiday?

Thanksgiving

Which is a better pet? Dog or cat?

DOG!

If you had to live somewhere for the rest of your life, where would it be?

The beach.

What is your favorite possession?

My teddy bear, Starry.

Most happy when?

I get rid of waste.

Biggest waste of time?

Arguing (Amen sister!)

Quality you like most about yourself?

My eyes.

The nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?

Giving birth to me.

Something no one knows about you?

That I love to surf.

Most embarrassing moment?

When I was at a pool party and when someone threw me up my bottoms came off!

Worst habit?

Biting my nails.

Favorite dinner/food?

Watermelon

Favorite dessert/sweet?

Brownies with ice cream.

Favorite book?

Twilight

Favorite TV show?

One Tree Hill

What makes you laugh?

Farts (I'm beginning to think its just an Ashworth thing! :)

What is your favorite color?

Blue

*Robert is doing well. He gets his chemo treatments once a day in the late afternoon or evening. So far he is still feeling well! We hope that keeps up and this will be a speedy hospital visit! I'd like to challenge Robdob to make it the shortest chemo round yet! :)

Green pee, and chocolate shakes...

2009-04-18T20:10:00.000-07:00

That's no Kool-Aid... Yes, that would be Robert's green pee. Blue chemo+Yellow pee= yeah... you get the idea. Robert got his first chemo today, 2 bags, one blue, one clear. The interesting thing is I think the clear one has more possible side effects. Go figure. Weird stuff. Robert is doing well. The chemo takes a couple of days until it makes him start feeling yucky. So he has been feeling fine. They are starting him on antibiotics to try to prevent any infections, plus keeping him on the ones he has been taking for his colitis. So we are hoping that will keep it all in check.
Trying to fatten Robert up is no easy task. It's like trying to convince a picky kid to eat their veggies. Ok, I might be exaggerating a bit. But I try to get him to eat everything, literally, and I would say I get shot down on about 50% of things. (Some things I know he doesn't like, but I ask anyway, can't help it. Note, Robert is not about peanut butter these days. More delicious Reese's for me.) He has been eating more, but of course, I wish it was even more. 132 lbs. isn't making me so happy. Luckily he has been more willing to go the Ensure route. I got In-n-Out today, to my dismay Robert only wanted fries and a chocolate shake. What?? No juicy Double-Double? But, I'll take what I can get.

Hopefully this hospital stay will be a short one. Robert and I are in complete awe of how many people are so willing to do so much for us. Thank you for all they prayers, support and love. We are so grateful. We love you all.

Admitted!

2009-04-18T12:37:00.000-07:00

So I was right about the sign hanging on the third floor, it still says 'No Vacancy'! But, I was wrong about Robert being admitted yesterday. They admitted him to the second floor late yesterday afternoon! (So much for being informed, ;) lol)! Robert is doing well. They are getting him all settled in and doing the pre-chemo types of things. They should be starting chemo later today or first thing tomorrow! They will move him up to the third floor when there is a vacant room. I'll keep updating as I get more information, and I'm really working on some pictures--I promise!

P.S. The purpose of all my fundraiser dinner typing was to tell you that our date is Saturday May 16th! That much I know for sure! So save the date! Somehow I didn't get that into the post, must by my pregnancy induced CRC (can't remember crap!)

No Vacancy

2009-04-18T02:11:00.000-07:00

Is the sign hanging out in front of the third floor at the St. Rose hospital. As of this morning (the last time I spoke with the Ashpants herself) they hadn't been called in just yet. I'll have to call her again tomorrow for an update! I suppose I might feel a tad bit silly if they are at the hospital even as I type and I just am not informed. I pride myself in being informed, you know! :)
Robert is feeling well, just resting! They ditched my dinner plans last night anyway to hang out with the Ashworths, can't say that I blame them! The Ashworth's are a pretty fun and awesome bunch! They were working on a fun picture/slide show/video project for Ken Ashworth's big dinner fundraiser next Friday April, 24th! Oh, and speaking of dinner fundraisers we have a date for ours (put together by the Squires family, and generously hosted by the Ashworth's grandparents). We are still working on the nitty gritty, but hope to have all that information together by Sunday! You'll know as soon as we firm everything up!!!
So good things are happening all around! Thank you for the love and support on the auction! Did I mention on here yet that we extended it for some gorgeous jewelry made by our very own Aunt Lara Squires? Check it out here!

Loves!

Just Snuggle Me. . .

2009-04-15T23:17:00.000-07:00

For one more night! I just know that is what Robert asked for, and his wish has been granted! He gets to snuggle his Ashpants for one more night in their very own bed. This happens sometimes when the hospital doesn't have a bed become available on the date they anticipate, so we are expecting the call tomorrow sometime! We will keep you posted of course!
Robert is feeling well today. He has been taking it pretty easy and was tired this evening! I would love them to be granted one more night at home, because when we thought they wouldn't be going to the hospital till the weekend of early next week I made dinner plans with them. Alas I understand that this story revolves around Robdob, and not myself--just know I will make them a yummy dinner either way!
And I'm working on some more cute posts! Collecting pictures and such! Should get fun and funny around this blog!
Loves!

Current News!

2009-04-14T22:55:00.000-07:00

The up-to-the-minute information is that Robert will be going in to the hospital tomorrow afternoon to start his second round of chemo. Ashpants and Robdob have their bags packed and will not-so-anxiously await the call that his room and bed are ready! The fun news is that Ashpants picked up a new pair of 3-inch heel, fire engine red boots and Robdob scored a new superhero belt! "Look good to fight better!"--that's what Ashpants always says!

Robert is feeling well these days. He has gained a little of the weight c-diff knocked off of him in their last battle. You should see c-diff--he's barely recognizable and still on a ventilator! He'll know better than to mess with our Robdob again!

Robert is not looking forward to more chemo, but all the Smurfs have been by the hospital to donate again and have called with their best wishes! The super hero friends are getting together to see who is available with the best tools to help Robdob this round! We'll let you know all the famous faces who show up! In the meantime, let's gather the force and prayers and send them Robdob's and Ashpants' way!

Thanks!

Our most recent adventure...

2009-04-13T21:36:00.000-07:00

The snow capped mountains of Salt Lake City, Utah! We decided to have our consultation with the Huntsman Center, because we have heard really great things about it. We met at the Clinic and talked to one of their BMT doctors. He went over everything we heard Robert's first time through it, plus some. It can be discouraging, the statistics they throw at us, but we know Robert's are better than what they tell us :D. They are going to be doing some things differently, but we will share that all when it comes. Robert is getting more chemo here late this week or early next week and that should be about 3 and a half weeks. They will let Robert recover for 3-4 weeks and then we will be going to SLC for his transplant, around early June. That is the plan as it stands now. It's nice to have more of an idea what will be going on.
Amanda came with us to SLC to give blood for Huntsman's records, and Linda joined us too. It was a 2 day partay! (Ok, really, not so much. But fun all the same.)
Robert outside the Huntsman Clinic, it is huge!
Our future home for at least 100 days! SLC here we come. (We're just glad it wont be as hot as Tucson! Blah!)

Auction Starts Today!!!

2009-04-08T09:14:00.000-07:00

We have started another online auction on my blog. It has even more items than last time! So many people who love and care about Robert donated their amazing talents and time for this event. We just want to give each one of them a big Thank You!

Come check it out here!

DNA Sunday

2009-04-05T20:06:00.000-07:00

Richmond Tyler Ashworth (I love that he included his middle name on the questionnaire!) is the youngest of the bunch. He is funny and sweet. He once sat through a chick flick while I was at their house just to hang out with the crowd! Here is what he has to say:

Most embarrassing moment?
When I said the pledge of allegiance, and I was supposed to be saying the prayer!

Most happy when?
Pooping (Such a boy! :)

Biggest waste of time?
Pooping. (Wait, how does that work out?)

The nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?
Save my life.
(need details on this one!)

If I knew then what I knew now?
I would warn Robert about sickness.

Favorite dessert/sweet?
Chocolate cake

Favorite dinner/food?
Ribs

Worst habit?
I roll my eyes too much!

Favorite holiday?
Christmas

What is your favorite possession?
Money

Which is a better pet? Dog or cat?
Dog

If you had to live somewhere for the rest of your life, where would it be?
In a mansion with everything I want.

What makes you laugh?
Jokes!

What is your favorite color?
Green