One year.

Robert Kenneth Ashworth: August 28th 1984-December 13th 2009

It's been a whole year since Robert went to heaven. I miss him more than ever, and I continually remember how blessed I am that he was and is part of my life. I'm not sure if anyone even reads this blog any more, since it has been so long I have posted anything, but it seemed fitting to post today. I know we all love Robert dearly in so many ways, and I know we all miss him. I wrote in my journal about the night Robert died a few days after he passed. I feel ready to share it with you all now. It was a beautiful night full of pure love, tears, sadness, and hope. It is all from my perspective and my experiences that night. It's near and dear to my heart, so I hope you all enjoy reading it and can feel Robert's love today, even if it's in a small way.
*Written in my journal on December 16th, 2009*

"It was a beautiful, sad, intense weekend. Robert passed away on Sunday. It's weird how writing that sentence makes it more real, and hurts my heart even more.

Robert went into the hospital again a couple of weeks ago, because he started feeling sick. Dr. Gollard wanted to get on top of it so he admitted him and started running tests. Nothing came back positive. They just could'nt figure out why he was sick. He also had a bump on his chest that they biopsied. We got the results from that back a few days after he got moved to the ICU. It was leukemia again. My heart sank. Not only was my husband incredibly sick, but his cancer was back. I felt incredibly discouraged. My main priority was getting Robert out of the ICU, his lungs were having problems, he just couldn't oxygenate on his own, so he was on a respirator, sedated. I didn't get to talk to him, to laugh with him, to read scriptures with him. I felt overwhelmed. All the test results just kept coming back negative.

On saturday Ken called Linda and she called me saying we needed to go to the hospital immediately. I felt like someone punched me in the stomach. I called Tina Murray, a woman who Paula had given me contact with, since she was doing a conference that weekend. She helped me clear Robert and myself and then I drove to the hospital. When I got there it was intense. It seemed like everyone knew something I didn't. I felt peace, I felt faith, I felt calm. I went to see Robert and the nurse. His oxygen had gotten low and his heart rate had gotten really high. He was stable again by the time I got there. I just talked to him, told him to hold on, to keep fighting, to have faith. I think I was talking to myself as much as him. Brandon came and gave him a blessing with Kevin Jenkins. After that my Dad showed up and I had him and Brandon give me a blessing. They blessed me with strength, the strength to make the decisions I would be asked to make, and to know those decisions were the right ones. I still felt incredible peace.

Dr. Gollard came and took Linda, Ken, and myself into a room and told us that Robert was getting worse, that he was on medications to cover everything, and that he wasn't getting better. He said that he thought Robert's leukemia had come back in his lungs as well as the bump on his chest. I didn't know what to say, what to think, what to believe. I asked what was next, what he suggested. He told me that he wouldn't do anything for Robert, that pretty much it was his time, and not to have the nurses do anything to save him if something drastic happened. Devestation. I felt peaceful and totally sad, all at the same time. My love, my Robert, gone? After how hard he had fought, after all the things he had been through. Not enough time is what was running through my head. Since I was the decision maker they left that up to me. I was alone in the room. I prayed. I called Tina again and told her what had happened. She encouraged me, told me Robert was so proud of me, and that he really trusted me to make these decisions. I knew she was right.

I went out of the room and Janelle told me that Tonya wanted to talk to me, so I told both of them what Dr. Gollard had said and we talked about it. Tonya just told me that in the case that it was anything else that I should keep letting Robert fight. At that moment I totally agreed. If it was anything but leukemia in his lungs, I had to give him the chance to fight. We went and looked at his chart together, looked at his X-rays. She helped me understand more of the medical side of it, which I was so grateful for. I really feel like it ultimately help me make the most important and hard decision of my life. I told the nurse that I still wanted them to keep helping Robert in any way they could. I felt good about that. By that time it had gotten late. Everyone was there and we all supported each other. It was a really great day, seeing everyone who loves Robert most come together to show support and love.

His night was uneventful, I went home to sleep while Linda stayed at the hospital with Robert. He was doing fine, and stable when I arrived on sunday. A little while after I had gotten there his oxygen levels started declining, but still in a safe range. My mom and Ken were there most of the day with me. They left around 6:00 when Karalee came to give me dinner. I ate and hung out a little and then Karalee and I went back to hang out in Robert's room. His oxygen was below 85 when we came in the room. My heart sank. No... was all I could think. I texted Paula and asked her to call me and went and talked to the nurse. She said they were going to prone him, which would help him hopefully oxygenate a little better. I felt scared. Karalee and I had to leave the room at 7:00 for them to switch nurses. I didn't know what to do. I called Paula and she started working on Robert, his energies were so low. I just knew. I was so scared. I cried while she kept clearing. Him and me. In my heart I knew. I told her I didn't want to be the only reason he was staying if it was his time to go. I knew Heavenly Father was calling him. She told me just saying that out loud was enough. I got off the phone, called Robert's family, while Karalee called ours and then I went to be with Robert. I held him, his face. I kissed him everywhere. I talked to him. I told him how much I loved him, how much I would miss him. I told him how grateful I was for him. That he was beyond anything I could have imagined and so much more. I told him we would be together for eternity. And we will be. I told him I would be okay, and that I knew he would always be with me, and me with him. I talked to the nurse, Sarah, she was an angel sent to us that night. She explained to me what my options were, what decision I would have to make.

All of our family showed up. My dad and Todd gave Robert a blessing, releasing him from this life, back to his Heavenly Father. It was beautiful. Everyone had tears. Brandon showed up a little bit behind everyone else and pulled me aside, he told me he had a special blessing for Robert that was whispered to him by the Spirit. It was one of the most sacred and beautiful things I have ever heard.

I talked to the nurse again, knowing it was time, that it was coming no matter what. She told me that I could leave him hooked up to everything, or take him off and let him pass peacefully. After talking to my mom I decided to take him off everything. It just felt right. Everyone said what they needed to and then we left so they could take everything out. I asked everyone to sing when we went back in the room to be with him while he went. We went back in and I climbed on the bed with him and held him, and kissed him. Everyone sang Be Still My Soul, and then God Be With You Til' We Meet Again. He passed during the second verse of God be with you til' we meet again. It was the most spiritual experience I have ever had. My heart was breaking, but I felt such joy for my eternal companion. Such love and admiration. He was so strong. He endured all to be with Heavenly Father and Christ again. And he is. It was hard, but I was so happy that his pain and suffering was over. I love Robert Kenneth Ashworth with every fiber on my being, my soul, my spirit. He taught me what love truly is. He is love. The epitome of love. I couldn't have had a better husband in this life, or companion for the eternities."
I am grateful to all those who love me and support me through everything. I am grateful for the strength and love you provide, it means the world to me, more than I can say. Thank you for loving Robert and being part of our journey. I love you all.

All is Well.

I remember the night Robert passed away, the peace I felt. I wouldn't even say it was necessarily bittersweet, because it was mostly sweet. I've thought a lot about the events, played them in my mind, over and over. When I think about it now, I see angels. I know they were everywhere, all around me, Robert, our families, in the halls. I've never felt peace like that, like tons of beautiful whispers of love right into my spirit, comforting me, letting me know everything was going to be okay. I felt their joy, for Robert, a valiant son of God was coming back to them, clean, and as pure as a person can be in this life. He served his mission here, with help from many of the angels that attended us, I believe. I remember making the decisions about letting him go, to take him off his life support. It's those moments that I had clarity like I have never felt before in my life, I had never felt that kind of peace that comes with it. All worry and fear clears out completely, and I knew what was needed, what was right in Heavenly Father's eyes. I imagine that night now with angels, clothed in brilliant white, joy emanating from them. I imagine they were laying comforting, loving hands on all of us, and especially Robert, to give him strength, to let him know we would all be okay. I remember how we sang to Robert as he passed away, and I now hear it with the voices of angels harmonizing with everyone's voices, welcoming Robert home. We were all saying goodbye, but all those angels were rejoicing in his return, they were welcoming him back. It brings me comfort, that I can see that night this way. I see Robert in those brilliant white robes, pure joy on his face, looking more healthy than he ever has, healed perfectly, and knowing that he felt relief, that it had been enough, that he had served in every way he had been asked. "All is well"... I heard it whispered much that night through the spirit, and I hear it often now. Even though I am hurting, I know that it will all be okay, Robert and I will be reunited for eternity, of this, I am sure.

All is well.

The Biggest Laugh

Taken on Ashley and Robert's honeymoon.

Yesterday marked one month since Robert's passing. I've really missed him this week. I needed to post a funny story, maybe two. This story gave me the biggest laugh during the past month, and has even provided a couple chuckles since then, well pretty much every time I think about it.

Robert was in the hospital in Salt Lake, he had just completed his second transplant and he had developed his nasty case of mucositis and was sleeping a lot and recovering. He woke up from a nap in the afternoon and looked over at Ashley, who was reading on her bed.

"I'm hungry Ashley."

"Okay Robert, what do you want to eat?"

"What do we have?"

Now remember that Robert didn't like eating much at all at this point, so Ashley was a little surprised. They had a cupboard in the room that they kept food in, so Ashley opened it up. She quizzed Robert about a few of the things that were in there that she thought might be easy for him to eat. He saw the box of ding dongs and said, "I want those." Again surprising, since he didn't usually like chocolate at the time.

"Okay Robert." Ashley opened one for him and handed it over. Robert took one bite and started slowly chewing. Then he set it down on the table. About a minute later her fell back to sleep.

A five minute cat nap was all he needed. When he woke up he immediately looked at Ashley wide-eyed. He spit a brown ball out on his hand and said, "what is in my mouth?". . . "Did I eat this?!?"

Ashley laughed and reassured him that he did indeed eat that bite of ding dong. She showed him the wrapper and the rest on his table.

Cracks me up every time I picture his "what the crap is in my mouth?" face. Robert loved to tell his funny hospital stories. He loved making people laugh.

The other story that has made me laugh is about my daughter Josie. If you've been reading this blog for long you may remember that she was born during the Luau Fundraiser that we held for Robert last May. Because we couldn't take our young children around Robert in Salt Lake, he didn't meet her until he was home in October.

Josie on October 6, 2009

After the second or third time that he saw Josie, Robert told Ashley, "Josie is so asymmetrical."

"You mean symmetrical?" Ashley asked.

Robert replied, "no I mean asymmetrical. You know, like if you cut an A in half it is exactly the same on both sides."

Ashley saw Robert's logic, cracked up and told him that he meant symmetrical.

Both those stories gave me a good laugh. I've been told I'm easily amused, but hopefully they will put a smile on your face too. I wanted to make sure those stories got written down, too. Please keep your stories and pictures coming too! memoriesofrobdob@gmail.com

It really makes things easier when I am missing Robert to think of all the good memories I have of him, funny ones included. I think he is happy to see us laughing!

A Continuing Legacy

I've thought about this blog this week. I've thought a lot about Robert. There have been emails, comments on here, comments on Robert's facebook page; people sharing thoughts and stories about what Robert and his amazing life meant to them. They are his legacy.

So many have shared that Robert was a force for good in their life. I know he was a force for greatness in mine. His legacy here isn't over, either. His influence still reaches out to us from the other side, from beyond his grave. His amazing example still spurs us all on to reach a little higher each day, to be a little better, a little kinder, to lift up someone else, to try to be like him. And in following Robert's example we will be following the example of our Savior. Because Robert loves his Savior and he tried every day of his life to live as the Savior wanted him to. Robert lived a life centered on Christ, a life directed by his immoveable faith. Today I am so grateful for Robert.


There was a theme, a common thread through the messages and thoughts shared at Robert's funeral: it is the message of our temples and that families really can be together forever, not just till death. Robert and Ashley weren't just married for time, they were sealed for all eternity in the Las Vegas Temple. If you would like to watch a short video about the blessings of the temple go here.


There is something about losing a loved one that makes you bold. I think it is because it causes you to pause and think about what is really important in this life. Robert was a college student when he was diagnosed with leukemia. When he died he didn't own a home, have a large bank account, or have an amazing car or any of the things that can seem so desirable in this life. He did have an amazing marriage with the love of his life, good relationships and love for and from his parents, siblings, in-laws and many others, he had a testimony of Jesus Christ and His gospel, he had many good friends. Those are the things that matter.

Ashley is bold. The experiences of the past two years, culminating in losing the love of her life in this earthly existence, they have changed her. There isn't much she fears anymore. She no longer fears death, and she doesn't worry about what people think about her. She is graceful and kind, yet speaks clearly. She doesn't ever want to offend, yet she desires to see others thrive in their marriages and lives. She nudges and reminds those around her to choose the right. I watch her, and I think she is amazing.

She is walking a path that no one besides her Savior can walk with her. I know that sometimes, as often as he can, Robert walks with her. Ashley will be forever a better woman, because she is Robert's eternal companion. She continues his legacy. Robert's siblings, parents, family and even his friends will continue to carry on his legacy.

So in the spirit of being bold, you should also check out this video, here.


I would like to thank all of you who have taken a moment to leave a comment or send an email. It has been such a blessing to read stories, most that we have never heard before. We are printing all of the stories and putting them in notebooks for Ashley and the Ashworths, so that we can add to them at any time. Please feel free to keep the stories coming, also we would love to receive any pictures that you may have of Robert. The email you can send both to is memoriesofrobdob@gmail.com.


Thank you!

Remembering Robdob Video

This video played at the viewing on Friday night. The funeral service was inspiring. We hope to share more of the messages and memories that were shared here for those who live out of town and were unable to attend. Get a tissue to watch the video! It is beautiful.



Many thanks and sincere gratitude to all those who have been of service, sent flowers and donated to the Hope Trust Fund and the leukemia foundation. Ashley continues to be sustained by your prayers and love and the Spirit. Thank you!

Obituary

Robert Kenneth Ashworth, 25, a student, of Las Vegas, passed away December 13, 2009. He was born August 28, 1984, in St. George, UT, and was a 17 year resident of Nevada. Robert graduated from Las Vegas High School in 2003. He attended college in Missouri and CSN. Robert married Ashley Ann Squires July 8, 2006. He is survived by his wife, Ashley Ashworth; parents, Linda and Ken Ashworth; sisters, Amanda, Alicia, and Anjelica; and brothers, Ryan and Richmond. Viewing will only be 6-8 p.m. Friday December 18. Funeral services Saturday, 11 a.m., both at the LDS chapel, 4040 E. Wyoming (at Gateway). Graveside service will follow at Bunkers Memory Gardens, 7251 W. Lone Mountain Rd. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the Hope Trust c/o Robert Ashworth, 1055 Whitney Ranch Drive, Suite 110, Henderson, NV 89014.

A Few Things

There has been some confusion about the time of the funeral on Saturday, we would just like to clarify that it will be at 11:00 a.m. at the same location as previously posted.

The Ashworth family has requested that in lieu of flowers donations may be made to the Hope Trust Fund. This is a Robert Ashworth Memorial Fund that will benefit his wife, Ashley.

I would like to share the gratitude expressed by many in both the Ashworth and Squires families for the many sweet sentiments and great services that have been performed and offered on our behalf. With the strength and sustaining of the Spirit, it is getting us through.

Thank you to those have shared memories of Robert with us, I know they will be a treasure to Ashley and the Ashworth's in the years to come. Please keep them coming.

I just have to share a picture. This photo was taken on November 24th, 2009:

The most adorable, eternal couple ever!

Funeral Arrangements

We wanted to post the information that we know about the services .

The viewing will be on Friday the 18th from 6 to 8p.m.

The funeral will be on Saturday the 19th at 11 a.m.

Both will be held at the church building at

4040 E. Wyoming (just west of Lamb).

(The Gateway & Wyoming Building)

Thank you for the love and support.

Sharing Memories

We have already found comfort, inspiration, and even a chuckle or two sharing our memories of Robert with each other. We would like to invite everyone to share their memories. Please feel free to leave a comment with your memories, or send an email to memoriesofrobdob@gmail.com
Sometime next week we would like to compile all of these stories into a book and give a copy to Ashley and a copy to the Ashworth family.

A Wonderful Life

Robert Kenneth Ashworth returned home to his loving Father in Heaven at 9:20pm. He was surrounded by his family, Ashley and her family.

Setting the Record Straight

The news about Robert is a little better than it was yesterday. The word went around that Robert only had 24-48 hours, and we know that this was very stressful news for everyone that heard it. There was a time in the morning that his condition was very critical. His resting heart rate went over 200 bpm and there was concern that he would go into an irregular heart rhythm and require resuscitation. The doctors were able to adjust his ventilator settings and treat his pH levels to bring his heart rate down to a safer rate. It has been determined that he has ARDS (Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome), which is inflammation of the lungs. ARDS is a secondary response to some other stress. The cause has still not been determined since all the cultures have come back negative. Robert's condition is still very critical and he is receiving supportive care for ARDS, which means he is breathing with the assistance of a ventilator. He's hooked up to a plethora of monitors and is being watched very closely. His condition has been fairly stable since yesterday afternoon. The diagnosis of ARDS gives hope that Robert will be able to pull through this, although his condition could change from day to day or even hour to hour at this point.

We are moving forward with faith and so appreciate all who join their faith with ours. We know that Robert is in God's hands and He is in charge of the outcome. We continue to believe in miracles and to ask for one for Robert. Ashley is holding up with her usual optimism and courage and advocating for the best care possible for Robert.

*We will be posting if there is anything new. If there is any specific information that you would like to know or questions that you have please feel free to leave us a comment and we will answer it in the following post. It has been an overwhelming weekend, but we do plan to continue posting at least once a day.

Once again, thank you for your fasting and prayers on Robert and Ashley's behalf. We have all felt their power this weekend, and your love!

Fast Request & Update

Yesterday was a bit of a rough day. I couldn't bring myself to post. We received the results from the biopsy on the lump on Robert's chest. It is leukemia cells. The good news is that there are no leukemia cells in his blood work or in his bone marrow. It is the same thing that happened before, a few rogue leukemia cells that weren't destroyed by the chemo and radiation have just gotten together and formed the lump. The game plan: get Robert over his pneumonia, then send him up to Salt Lake. There they will do a lymphocite transfusion with more of Amanda's cells. That will force Robert's body to develop graph vs. host disease. When he gets GVHD then Amanda's cells will attack and destroy any remaining white blood cells of Roberts, including any leukemia cells. I believe they may also do a localized radiation treatment on the lump to kill those cells as well.
While they have a good plan to handle this new development it was still hard news to hear, and it took a day to process.

Currently Robert is still on 100% oxygen, his blood oxygen saturation is between 92-95. His pneumonia symptoms are a little worse today than yesterday. They are a little concerned about his brain activity as well, because even when they bring down his sedation levels, his brain activity doesn't increase. Ashley is asking that they change his pain medication from morphine to dilauded (or something else), because she remembered that he had that problem last time he was in the ICU and it helped. We're hoping that will help his brain activity right now. The docs have gotten back some of his test results, but so far everything has come back negative.

Ashley would like to ask anyone who can to participate in a fast for Robert this weekend (Saturday or Sunday). We are announcing in our wards here to fast on Sunday, but please feel free to fast tomorrow if that would be better for you. We are fasting for Robert's healing, but also specifically for his doctors to be guided to know what is causing his pneumonia and how best to help him heal. Please also pray for his speedy recovery, so that he can get up to Salt Lake quickly.

Thank you for all of your continued support and prayers. Ashley feels them, they are keeping her going; and she knows Robert feels them too.

With love and gratitude!

Update

There still isn't much to report on. We still haven't gotten any new results from cultures or tests. Robert is stable, and has been all day. He is currently on 100% oxygen to keep his saturation above the necessary 92 mark. They would like to be able to bring his oxygen level down soon. He is sedated. His chest x-ray last night looked worse, but the docs & nurses say that is typical of pneumonia and they will expect them to start looking better soon.

Thank you for your continued prayers, love and support.

Here's what's cookin'. . .

Remember that cook book we mentioned awhile back? Well here it is. . . (drumroll please) Ahem, that was lame. Let's try it again

(((DRUMROLL)))

That was much better! Here it is in real, life print. Life? Does that word describe a cookbook? Printed on pages that were once a living tree. Recipes to gift life to your body and a party to your taste buds. Yep, I think it works. I just love, love, love the title. Isn't the cover fabulously cute? It would have to be with pictures of such cuties, I just love those two.

This book is filled with yummy recipes, quick meals and family traditions. All these recipes are tried and true! Recipes I just love. If you don't have yours yet, you just might want to get one! We are selling them here.

To those who have already purchased a book, they are on their way! And a big THANK YOU for your support in our fundraising efforts. You won't regret it, we can really cook (and I'm humble about that fact!) Food is so good! I love food, and I just thought you needed to know. Well it is getting late and I might qualify as slap-happy at this juncture, so I'm gonna run.

Just don't forget to buy a cookbook!

Thank you for your love, prayers & comments!

Kisses!

*Robert has remained stable today. He is on a ventilator that is breathing for him at this point. They are maintaining his oxygen levels and treating his pneumonia. His blood pressure was a little low today, this is very typical for someone who is as sick as he is. They started him on meds to help with that. We don't have any test/biopsy results back yet. Still playing the waiting game. There just isn't a lot of new information at this point. When we know, you'll know, I promise!

Giving Thanks

Sunday November 22 at their Gratitude Night!

Check out those chubby cheeks! :)

Robert and Ashley gave me a gift. The gift of gratitude. The Sunday before Thanksgiving our family got together. We were joined by Mike, Lara & family, the only ones missing were the Bakers. Robert and Ashley started off an FHE by sharing stories from their experience battling leukemia. They pointed out in each story how gratitude has blessed their experience. Then they passed out slips of paper, on it was printed someone's name in our family. We went around the room and said why we were grateful for the person on our paper slip. No matter what your family relationships are like: good, bad or indifferent, they could benefit from that exercise. Suddenly you are reminded of all the amazing qualities each family member possesses. It was awesome! Here is a quote that Ashley posted on her facebook page:

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." -Melody Beattie

Robert and Ashley are such an amazing example to me, and many. They keep their spirits up and look for the blessings in every situation, both big and small. To finish up they gave everyone a piece of paper with the words "Things I would like to be more grateful for..." I've been thinking about it ever since. And you know what has happened? I have noticed the little things, the tender mercies and even the things I first think are a frustration--yet they work out for my benefit. I have seen the Lord's hand in my life a little more than I did before.

So Thanksgiving Day has passed, yet today I am giving thanks. Thanks for Robert and Ashley. Thanks for their example. Thanks for Robert's life. Thanks for families and for friends!

Thanks for you! For your thoughts and your prayers!

With Robdob back in the ICU lets fill up his waiting room. Please feel free to leave a comment and let him know that you are thinking of him and are praying for him. And Ashpants too! Thank you!

*Robert's bronchioscopy went well, they were able to easily get fluid from his lungs, as well as a biopsy. We are waiting on results from those cultures. His initial lumbar puncture results are in and they look good, they also sent off for a culture of that, and it hasn't come back yet. No other test results are in as of yet. We may hear more after rounds tonight.

Robert is stable, and he has been calm all afternoon. Ashley is catching up on her sleep a bit from her eventful night. We'll post again soon!

Monday Update

I don't have much time right now, but I wanted to get a quick post up. Robert was taken to the ICU last night around 3:30am. His blood oxygen levels were really low (45%), so he was admitted, sedated and intubated. I was able to go down to the hospital at 5:00am to be with Ashley while she waited outside the ICU. The Pulmonologist (lung doctor) came out and said that Robert has stage 4 pneumonia. The doctor would need to do a bronchioscopy with a biopsy of his lung tissue. That procedure will tell them what is causing his pneumonia (bacteria, virus, etc.) so they know exactly what they are dealing with and how to treat it. They were doing that at 11:00am today. We are still awaiting word that he is out. (He probably is, but I haven't heard from Ashley yet.)

We are also hoping for the results of a biopsy from the bump on his chest and for his lumbar puncture they performed on Saturday. The results of a couple of cultures should come in today as well. I know that one was to check for cytomegalovirus (cmv virus). Do you remember that one? It is the one that 80% of the population has all the time, but only affects people if their immune systems get too depressed.

Ashley is doing pretty well. She was able to go into the ICU for a little over an hour this morning, before she had to leave for rounds and shift change. It was hard for her to see Robert on the ventilator and hooked up to more tubes. He got a little worked up, but she was able to calm him down. He is sedated, but not completely unconscious.

Thank you for praying for both of them today. I hope to post again very soon!

Love,

Janelle

Update & Prayer Request!

We took a little break from posting, I'm sure you noticed! ;) It has been so nice for the past month to watch Robert and Ashley settle back into normal life, well as normal as it can be. Robert has been back up to Salt Lake twice for check ups and everything has been looking good. They even took Robert off of his appetite stimulator. He's been gaining weight so well, they want him to slow it down a little. He still takes it occasionally, it helps with his nausea or if he has a couple days when he doesn't feel hungry. He has some cute chubby cheeks these days!

About a week ago Robert started feeling a little crummy. His docs thought he was detoxing all of the chemo and radiation and other drugs from his bone marrow transplant--a little too fast. He developed a small bump on his chest on Tuesday, and he's been feeling a little worse and sleeping a lot. He had a check up here in Vegas with Dr. Gollard yesterday (Wed). Doc was concerned about his overall health, so he sent Robert to check in to the hospital. They ran some additional blood work, and there are no abnormal cells (great sign). I talked to my dad just after he had been at the hospital last night to give Robert a blessing. While he was there Dr. Litman stopped by (the infectious disease doc) and he was checking Robert out. He said from what he could see, and the look of his skin (he has a rash?) that he thought Robert was developing graph vs. host disease (GVHD). Now that would be a good thing! We've been waiting a long time for some GVHD to show up!

GVHD would explain him feeling worse and worse. And one doc even said it could have caused the bump on his chest. If is is GVHD they will start Robert back on anti-rejection meds and that would help him to keep the GVHD under control and he would start feeling better.

We don't want to cause too much concern. Robert is in the hospital because as my dad said, "with all of Robert's health concerns they are going to keep him on a short leash." They also wanted to be able to help Robert feel more comfortable too. They want to know exactly what caused the bump on his chest, so they are running more tests. Today they will do two bone marrow biopsies--one on his chest and one on his back.

So Ashley wanted me to request extra prayers for him today! Pray for them both please!

I started this post on Thursday. Here is the Friday update: the results from both bone marrow biopsies are in and there are no leukemia cells. His blood cultures came back and they look pretty good too. His liver is a little stressed, raised enzyme levels I believe. They did an MRI and a CT scan, they were checking on his liver and kidneys and they looked good. This afternoon they were doing a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) to be sure there isn't any infection in his spinal fluid. The docs thought that Robert might have a secondary infection, besides possible GVHD. So far they haven't seen signs of it. I hope this makes sense. It is a lot of medical info all at once!

Robert is feeling better. They have been giving him fluids and some pain meds, so he is much more comfortable.

Please keep praying for Robert and Ashley! We'll continue updating daily, at least until we know what is going on. Thank you again for your love and support!

Hugs & Kisses

XOXOXOXOXO

WELCOME HOME ROBDOB AND ASHPANTS!

Taryn loves having Uncle Robert home!

Robert and Ashley returned home just this past Sunday, October 18th. Robert completed all of his testing two weeks ago, and had his final appointment with the docs this past week. No cancer cells were found in his bone marrow. I feel the need to repeat...

NO CANCER CELLS WERE FOUND IN HIS BONE MARROW!!!

Or anywhere else in his body either. Amanda's bone marrow has taken over nicely and things are going well. Robert has been off his TPN (nutrition IV) for almost two weeks. His appetite increases daily. I would know, he ate three pulled pork sandwiches and potato salad when he was at my house the other day! He eats a lot of little meals, he still can't eat as much in one sitting. Robert is gaining weight nicely, and his energy is returning bit by bit. Robert will be going up to Salt Lake monthly for check ups.

As you can see in the photo his hair is growing back quickly this time! Robert can be around children for short periods of time, but still avoids large crowds. He is doing so very well! We are so excited for that, and we are thoroughly enjoying having them home!

Ashley is busy unpacking and settling them back in at home. They have been making the rounds to hang out with family, and a few friends. I wish I had more pictures of the gatherings and welcoming! This is the only one I snapped when they were at my house. Taryn is sure that Uncle Robert came home just to be her BFF. Ashley stopped by the next day without him and Taryn asked, "where's Robert?" She was bummed he hadn't come too!

Thank you again so much for all your prayers and loving support of Robert and Ashley!

Pillow Talk.

So this is how Robert was sleeping when I came into the room the other day. I thought it was hilarious. It looks like the pillow is eating his head.

After I got some pics of this I asked Robert if he wanted me to move his pillow around, but he insisted that he was "very comfortable". I got a kick out of this, so I thought I'd share.

Robert is doing well, he has had some more chest pain, but it is getting better. Robert is just frustrated that he was finally starting to eat and now his esophagus is hurting when he swallows. But, it is getting better, and we hope it continues to. Other than that things are going well. We've just been hanging out and waiting to be able to go home. We are hoping sooner than later. The weather is supposed to be cooling down a lot this week, and we are excited to possibly see some snow. Although I don't really want to drive in it! Things are going well, and we are so grateful. Thank you for the prayers and love.

All our love.

Little League.

Last night Robert was having some chest pains that were causing him a lot of pain, so we called the BMT wing and they told us to go to the ER to make sure everything was okay with his lungs and heart. So we went to the ER, and by the time we got there most of his pain has subsided, it only hurt when he was moving around a lot. They ran some tests and during a CT scan they gave him some dilauded, which is pain medication, and it's 6 times as strong as morphine. Needless to say, he was drugged up when they brought him back. It was entertaining to say the least. He was scratching everywhere, and of course made me scratch him as well. After they did their tests they cleared us to go home. They think he just tore his asaphogus when he threw up earlier in the night, or something to that effect, so we were grateful that it wasn't a big deal.

After we arrived home and Robert was in bed and had gotten more scratch time he was ready for bed, so we said a prayer together. Robert decided he wanted to say it, and I though he might actually fall asleep, since he was so out of it from the pain meds they gave him in the ER. So he was saying the prayer and was staying awake and then right at the end he says "Please help me keep feeling better and healing, so that one day I can coach little league baseball." He finished and then I look up and his eyes are closed. I just started laughing and he wakes up and is like "Whattt? I am sorry, I fell asleep. Did I finish praying?" I was in tears from laughing. It was the cutest, most hilarious thing he has done in a while. He didn't remember saying it, but we laughed about it today. I know one day he will get that chance to coach a little league team, and I can't wait to see it.

Robert is doing well. He didn't gain too much more weight this week, but he didn't lose any. So that is great. We are still working on his appetite. He has been feeling a lot better, and the IV nausea medicine is still helping a lot. Things are going great and we are hoping to be heading home by the end of October. We miss Vegas!

All our love.